


KawaiiCalPal

by TheLarryDiaries



Series: Youtube!Malum [1]
Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band), Lashton - Fandom, Malum - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Bondage, Bottom!Calum, Daddy Kink, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Handcuffs, M/M, Overstimulation, Rockstar!Ashton, Rockstar!Luke, Rockstar!Michael, Swallow the Goldfish, Teasing, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Top!Michael, YouTuber - AU, YouTuber!Calum, bottom!Luke, cock blocking, cute!Calum, eventual angst, famous!Ashton - Freeform, famous!Calum - Freeform, famous!Luke - Freeform, famous!michael - Freeform, flowerchild!calum, punk!michael, sweater!Calum, top!ashton
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-28
Updated: 2014-12-23
Packaged: 2018-02-19 02:38:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 25,642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2371397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLarryDiaries/pseuds/TheLarryDiaries
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Calum is an adorable YouTuber known as KawaiiCalPal. He's most known for his oversized sweaters and matching flower crowns. Also, he's in love with the world famous punk rock band, Swallow the Goldfish. But more accurately, the lead guitarist, Michael Clifford.</p><p>Luke, Ashton, and Michael are the three band members of Swallow the Goldfish. They all happen to be jelly beans, Calum's name for his subscribers. It's also quite obvious that Michael believes Calum is his 'soulmate'. It's also remarkable as Calum is very open with his homosexuality, and love for Michael.</p><p>It really started when Calum had the opportunity to interview the band for a video.</p><p>Malum/Lashton Fanfiction</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! So, this is actually not a Larry one, because I feel that I'm Larry dominant enough. I'm actually making this a Malum AU with side Lashton. The main focus is totally Malum. You can find the original on wattpad as well.

Calum threw on his oversized Nyan Cat jumper and a pink dahlia/peony flower crown with white daffodils used as fillers. Today was Tuesday- one of his scheduled YouTubing days- and he was really excited for his big announcement for his subscribers, in which he called his jelly beans.

"Hi, jelly beans! Today is Tuesday and only a day away from the Swallow the Goldfish concert!!! Anyway, I have big news regarding them! Bigger than my sweater collection! Ok! I have arranged for a private meet and greet with all three members, and I will be interviewing them for a special episode of KawaiiCalPal that will be up on Thursday and you guys get to ask the questions! So please, hurry up and submit questions you'd like me to ask the boys and I'll read a bunch out. Nothing profound please!"

~

"Ok, aside from the excitement of going to a concert with my future husband that doesn't really know about our marriage yet, I said in my last video that I was going to do a Kawaii Q and A, so here I go!"

~

"@CalPals_Kiddo wants to know, 'Are you gay?'" Calum stared at the camera blankly, back at his phone, then back at the camera. "Are you new here?"

~

"Ok, I'm not going to say this name because it is too mature. But she wants to know, 'How many sweaters do you own and where do you get them?' I actually have over forty of these, and they're actually customized and you could make your own at the hyperlink I've put in the description below. So check it out and if you use that link, you get your first sweater/T-shirt forty percent off!"

~

"@Calums_FlowerCrowns told me, 'Name an item on your bucket list.' Um... I really want to marry Michael Clifford. And I'm going to do everything in my power to marry Michael Clifford."

~ ~ ~

About a dozen questions later, Calum wrapped up his video with his signature smile with his tongue poking out playfully. He pressed the stop button pf his camera and removed it from his tripod. He really couldn't wait to upload this video.

~ ~ ~

Word of his video had gotten out quickly, especially thanks to the help of his Twitter updates and his awesome subscribers. There was even a hash tag created, and it had become a worldwide trend. The best thing of all: Michael has seen it.

How exactly does Calum know? Michael tweeted him saying he was really looking forward to marrying Calum with the hash tag. That was probably the biggest moment of Calum's life, and he fangirled like crazy, responding to Michael saying how he totally made him squeal with delight.

This small Twitter conversation lead to another worldwide trend.


	2. 1: No Ordinary Interview

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Calum gets to meet his future husband, who proposes to him with a ring pop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I'm so happy for the positive feedback this story's received! I was actually planning to update this yesterday, but unfortunately, I was hit by a car. No serious damage, but I got a ticket for jaywalking even though the woman who hit me was on her phone.

Calum walked around the arena with awe in his expression and his portable camcorder. Already, people have stopped and asked for pictures with him. It was unbelievable, all the attention he was receiving. He especially couldn't wait to actually see the band in the flesh. This was honestly a once in a lifetime opportunity, and he wasn't going to let this go. And lord, he really hoped his outfit came together today.

~ ~ ~

"Boys, tidy up in here! Calum will be here any minute! Boys!" Like and Ashton pulled away from each other's faces and stared up at Michael with tinted cheeks and swollen lips.

"Mikey, I get that you're excited for your little crush, but do you have to go neat freak on us?" Ashton asked annoyed.

"There's a difference between a little crush and a soulmate." Michael stared lovingly into space at the thought of Calum.

"And there's a fine line between a soulmate and an obsession." Luke muttered to Ashton. Of course, this earned him a pillow to the face.

"Will you get off of Ashton's lap for like two minutes and help me out here? How's my hair? Is it red enough? Is it too red? Am I sweating? Should I apply more cologne-"

"Stop! You look fine. Calum obviously likes you as it is. We may not know why, but he does. Will you just chill and act casual?" Ashton asked,wrapping his arms around Luke's slim waist. Michael huffed.

"I want to make a good impression. I really don't want to scare him off or anything."

"If I were you, I'd just be myself. If things were to hit it off, you'd be expected to act like a prude the entire time you go out with him. Relax." Michael plopped onto his chair and frowned.

"Wow, Luke. For the first time, you may actually be right."

"The first time?" Luke and Ashton asked in unison. Before Michael could respond, there was a slight knock on the door. His breath hitched as Luke stood up, fixed his shirt, and took a couple long strides to the door.

"Hi, it's so nice to meet you. Come in." Luke stepped aside and opened the door wider to hui let Calum in.

Michael took a minute to take in Calum's beauty, and his clothes. He never thought he'd find him even more attractive than he did now. But apparently, it was possible.

Calum himself was clad in black skinny jeans, classic converse, a navy blue jumper with little stars (the actual space kind) adorning it, and of course, a matching flower crown consisting of white moon lillies and dark blue nigellas. All in all, Calum looked fascinating.

"Michael, you're staring." Ashton deadpanned, throwing the pillow Michael had previously thrown at Luke in his direction. Michael was quick to dodge it, however.

"Hi there. It's very nice to meet you." Calum said sweetly to the three boys. Helloes were muttered from Luke and Ashton as Calum set up his camera to where the sofa and the chair were in view.

"So how is this all gonna work?" Ashton questioned, slinging his arm over Luke's shoulders.

"Well, I had my viewers ask you three questions on Tumblr, and I will be reading them aloud for you to answer. Remember to speak up a bit so they can hear you."

"Alright then," Luke smiled then turned to Michael. "You've not uttered a single word since he got here."

"That's because he's too in love, Lukey. Just look at that look he's sending our guest." Michael guessed they were attempting to whisper based on the proximity of their faces, but in reality, they were doing a crappy job.

"Ok, I've already turned it on and I also have the questions out. Go ahead and get comfortable if you aren't already." Calum instructed as he turned around to sit down on the empty cushion next to Luke. That's when Michael acted before thinking and pulled Calum by the wrist onto his lap.

"We're practically married now, remember?" Michael smirked down at the smaller boy, whose cheeks were flaming to about the color of Michael's red locks.

"O-ok," Calum giggled before looking back down at his phone. "Um should we get started on the questions?"

"Please do before it gets weird." Ashton muttered. Luke and giggled as Michael sent him a glare.

"Hi, jelly beans! I'm joined here today with world famous band, Swallow the Goldfish!"

"Hi, fishies!" Luke cheered happily.

"At least someone's excited to see me." Calum joked. Ashton was quick to make a snarky remark.

"I'm sure Michael's excited to see you, too." Everyone but Michael, who was immediately embarrassed, laughed at his joke.

"I'm excited to see you, too, sweetheart." Calum giggled, pinching Michael's cheek.

~

"Ok, @CalPals_Cliffoconda -that name. alrighty then- asked, "How is the start of your world tour so far?'"

"It's actually really nice so far. I'm already pretty upset that we'll be leaving Australia but at least we'll be able to see you guys in other parts of the world." Ashton smiled.

"And at least we actually get to start here in Sydney. So we'll have some more time with family before we leave for a few months."

"Nice. You wanna piggyback on thay?"

"Nah, I'll probably end up saying the same thing as them anyway." Calum chuckled at Michael's reasoning and proceeded with asking questions.

"@Lalalashton wants to know 'Ashton, how-' oh my god! I can't ask you that!" The three boys erupted into laughter. Michael eventually looked over Calum's shoulder.

"Wow, your jelly beans are crazy perverted."

"So are you for reading it." Michael huffed out a laugh.

"Well you weren't gonna read it aloud."

"You didn't even read it aloud."

"@Lalalashton wants to know how good does it feel when you fuck the living shit out of Luke." He said monotonicly.

"I have younger viewers! You can't just do that!"

"I just did, babe. Deal with it." And oh, Calum fell in love with the smirk accompanied by the wink Michael just sent.

"Well, if you must know... it feels amazing." Ashton began.

"He is seriously the greatest fuck ever, no doubt."

"You say that like you have someone to compare him to." Michael snorted.

"I have sex t-"

"Ok, I really think we're getting a bit too explicit for my innocent ears!" Calum whined.

"Ok, sweetheart. Let's move on to the next question, shall we?" Calum could honestly say he was on the verge of melting under the presence that is Michael Clifford.

"Anonymous asked you three, 'What foods or snacks have you heard of and wanted to try, but you know you'll probably never try them. Calum, you too.' Wow, thanks for including me anon!"

"Awe, baby. You're already apart of the band." Michael cooed.

"You know, I could seriously be in the band. I can play bass, maybe sing for you guys."

"No way. Really?" Luke asked impressed. Calum nodded.

"Prove it to us, princess. There's a bass over there." Calum was about to stand up when Ashton stood instead and grabbed the neck of the guitar, ten passed it down to him.

Calum took the instrument and tuned the strings, already seeming to impress the band. After he tuned the guitar, he placed his fingers onto a random chord and strummed. He did that three times before belting out an actual tune that the boys knew, The Duck Song.

"Anonymous asked what foods we would try. Let's answer now, we'll go down the line. Hey! Bumbumbum! I'd go with astronaut ice cream and stop trying to create an impromptu song and just put this bass away before embarrass myself anymore than I already have and just continue with the answer and stop talking now," Calum sang in a monotone, that only made the whole situation more funnier to the boys.

"Um, you know those foods that they try on Buzzfeed? Like Americans taste test Korean snacks and shit? Well, I want to try the ice cream sandwich shaped like a fish."

"That's very descriptive." Luke pointed out. Ashton shrugged.

"It looked good. The taste testers said it was good. I'm going by their word."

"Ok, I'm just gonna- ok. Michael? What would you eat because I haven't decided yet."

"Well, you look pretty appetizing, babe." Michael smirked at Calum, who was still a blushing mess.

"Wow, someone should be arrested for cannibalism." Ashton muttered, loud enough for the audience to still hear.

"Oh come on, he looks delicious. You know what I mean."

"Yeah, like an apple. He's so red! It's adorable!" Luke laughed alongside with Ashton.

"Oh wow, what kind of conversation did I walk into?"

"You asked the question." Ashton retorted.

"Technically, the anon did. Thank you, anon!" Luke cheered at the camera.

"Yeah, thank you, anon."

~ ~ ~

After about five more questions, Calum skipped the more 'personal' questions in favor of his innocent appeal, he and the others had bid their farewells and used his signature video finish. He shot up from where he was sitting -on Michael's lap- and turned off the camera.

"Great job, mates. I can't wait to edit this."

"Thanks for having us. Your fans are very... perverted." Ashton dragged awkwardly, recapping on all the questions asked.

"I even asked them to dial it down. My jelly beans don't seem to listen."

"Awe. That's a shame. I wouldn't mind answering them though." Michael stood and wrapped his arms around Calum's waist, resting his head on his shoulder.

"Why am I not surprised? You've been groping the poor boy ever since he got here. Not to mention those incredibly obvious sexual innuendos." Luke snorted.

"I'd consider it sexual harassment. Are you sexually harassed, Calum?" Ashton asked him seriously. Calum giggled and shook his head.

"We're married now, remember?" Michael joked, pushing Ashton away. "I even got him a ring pop to commemorate it."

"How glorious. You're proposing to him with a ring pop." Ashton said sarcastically.

"Only until I get him the real thing. We're taking things slow." Michael muttered to himself as he fished out the ring pop from the backpack he usually brought that contained everything he needed: video games, earbuds, chargers, etc.

"I can't believe this is actually happening. Of all the things that could ever happen." Calum laughed as soon as Michael had dropped on one knee with the ring in his hand.

"What do you say, princess? We should totally do something after the concert."

"Which happens to be in about ten minutes so you better be ready by the time he says yes, Michael!" Luke yelled from a distance. Michael rolled his eyes and looked back at Calum with a hopeful glint in his eyes.

"I should give you my number so we could meet up afterwards." And Michael was pretty happy once Calum took the ring and proudly put it on his finger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't tell you when the next update is, but I want to get one more by Sunday.


	3. 2: The Three Hopeless Jelly Beans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Calum makes new friends, that happen to ship him with Michael, and he goes with Michael to his hotel room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so I'm doing two updates today because I thought I actually did my last one. Turns out, that was only done on Wattpad. Sorry.

The concert was perfection. Calum even made a few new friends, who were coincidentally jelly beans. It started with a few pictures, but then escalated into full conversations about the band and random stuff from Tumblr. He wound up getting their numbers, in which he'd definitely be using.

"So are you and Michael Clifford dating? Because Luke tweeted a picture of him proposing to you with a ring pop earlier." One of the girls, Macy, asked.

"Um... I really don't know what we are right now, but we're hanging out after the show."

"Get out! Really?!?! You two are so cute and if this all ends well, that man will be wrapped around your little finger." Another one of the girls, Kristen, laughed.

"I mean, it's really obvious he likes you. He kept looking at you whilst he was playing. Kind of like the way Ashton stares at Luke when he walks around stage." The third girl, Mandy, had said.

"He could've been looking at anybody." Calum defended.

"He could've been," Macy began. "But he wasn't."

"You know how huge this is? You even got his number!!! He's totally gonna call you and you're gonna go over there, and you two are gonna get married and have little Cliffhood babies!"

"Um, Kristen, they're both guys."

"Adoption, Mandy. Adoption. Unless Calum can get pregnant."

"Why are you assuming that I'm the bottom?" The girls stared at Calum blankly before bursting into laughter.

"That was gold!"

~

"Dude! He just texted him! Oh my god what is life?"

"Calm down, man. He's probably just going to a movie with him or something."

"Wow, Kristen. You're really being cool about this."

"Yeah, just because - Oh my God he texted him! Oh my God!!! He called him princess and invited him to his hotel! Dude, you are gonna get laid!!!"

"And he's coming here in ten minutes!"

"Oh god, are we even ready for this?!"

"No. You aren't, but I am. Guys, it's not that big of a deal, really."

"You do realize you're gonna probably be shagging him, right?"

"No, we might not even do anything remotely similar."

"Mate, he's full of sexual innuendos. Of course you'll do something remotely similar." Kristen laughed. She had a point, too. Well, Michael hadn't necessarily done anything he'd consider close to sexual besides the innuendos, but he saw it more as playful banter.

"Look, we're gonna hang out, have a good time, and then I'm gonna go home."

"Yeah, limping." Mandy cackled.

"Could you tell us if he's really nine and a half inches?"

"What?! No! We're not even gonna do anything!"

"But if he were to advance in sexual activity with you, would you submit to him?"

"Kristen! Oh my god what is wrong with you people?!" Calum slid from where he was leaning against a wall.

"That doesn't answer her question, CalPal."

"Answer the question." As all girls began to gang up on an otherwise helpless Calum, someone had cleared his throat form behind.

"Answer the question, Calum." Michael had smirked after he caught the attention of the small group.

"You people have no jurisdiction over me, and I am leaving." Calum muttered, standing up and hurrying to Michael's side.

"What question were you supposed to answer anyway?" Michael whispered to Calum.

"Just go before they say something I might regret hearing." Cal whispered back. Michael dropped the subject and followed suit as Calum took off as soon as the girls began to ask a bunch of questions at once.

~ ~ ~

"Whoa, this place is nice." Was the first thing Calum said once he stepped into Michael's hotel room.

"Thank you. I try to keep order so I don't forget anything when we go to the next venue."

"Smart. Does it actually work?"

"Yeah, I'm quite surprised of it, myself," Michael threw himself onto the bed, patting the empty side for Calum to join him. "Tell me about yourself, princess. Things I don't know based on your videos."

"Um... I'm pretty open about my life, so that may be difficult."

"Would you like me to start then?" Calum nodded. "Alright. As you know, my name is Michael Gordon Clifford, I'm eighteen, and I like to party. I like comic books and videogames: Marvel over DC. I secretly go to Comic-Con during our breaks. Between you and I, when I was given the chance to choose the dates, Comic-Con played a huge role in the criteria. I came out as bisexual to my mum at thirteen... what else would you like to know?"

"What did you want to be when you were younger?" Calum asked with a youthful glint in his eyes.

"I wanted and still want to be a power ranger." Michael mumbled with a laugh. Calum giggled cutely into his hands, that were engulfed in the sweater cuffs.

"How exactly are you gonna accomplish that?"

"In my dreams, I suppose. I'm not gonna dwell at it, though. I like my life the way it is now. I've got friends, family, shelter, a career. and an adorable husband to share it with." He winked at the last part, wish made Calum blush for the umpteenth time that night.

"You are something else, Clifford," Calum smiled fondly. "But I love that about you."

"That's great to hear considering we're gonna be spending the rest of our lives together." Calum shifted uncomfortably from wear he was sitting on the bed.

"If we're gonna spend the rest of our lives together, is it alright if I get comfortable? These jeans are starting to chafe."

"Yeah, go ahead princess." Michael said as he pulled out his phone and began absentmindedly tapping away at it.

Calum stood up from the bed and pulled his pants from his legs. He kicked the jeans and shoes off his feet and hopped onto the bed alongside Michael, seeing he was on Instagram.

"You know a lot of people posted pictures of you? They're going crazy and coming up with these wacky conspiracies. It's hilarious!" Calum leaned his head onto Michael's shoulder and looked at the phone screen.

"They think I'm pregnant with your child?!" Calum gasped in disbelief.

"They think a lot of stuff." Michael snorted as he scrolled through his feed. Memes of Calum and Michael were showering Instagram and creating a bit of chaos, but not for the two. Basically, there are virtual wars between their fandoms about literally some of the dumbest stuff.

"Some fans think your favorite thing about me is my bum, others believe its my legs, and others want it to be my personality. What kind of war is that?"

"I don't know, but let's mess with them." He closed out of Instagram and opened Twitter, immediately composing a tweet.

/Whilst Calum's physique is to die for, his personality is what I live for./

That created a huge stir all over the internet.


	4. 3: Videogames and Phone Calls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Calum gets an unexpected phone call that is more than a little invasive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N:
> 
> I don't know if Kuma is a male or female, or if he/she is really Calum's to begin with. In this fic, she'll be Calum's

"You did not just drag that lady out of her car." Michael shouted in disbelief.

"I didn't wanna do it but, I needed the points." Calum giggled. Michael only moved on with the game, not realizing that he was still driving the car and he had run over at least three people.

"How the hell are you gonna scold me when I didn't even kill anyone when your reckless driving is taking innocent lives?"

"You held your victim at gunpoint. Mine are accidental." Michael scoffed.

"Once again, I needed the points," Calum laughed. His phone rang on the nightstand and he grabbed for it without taking his eyes off the screen. "Hello?"

*Did you guys fuck yet?* Oh yeah, Calum had forgotten that he'd given the girls his number.

"No, we're actually playing videogames."

*What?! Why haven't you hopped on that disco stick yet?!?!*

"Um, because, I don't really know. Maybe it's because it's none of your business?" Calum asked, earning a scoff from the girls.

*You need to stop that game and start riding that d, mate.* As Calum laughed at something through the phone, Michael assumed it was himself for Calum explained that they were playing videogames, he got curious and asked Calum to put it on speaker.

"I'm not gonna do that." Calum told the girls as he took the phone from between his ear and shoulder and placed it between himself and Michael.

*Oh please, I'm surprised you two haven't done anything yet. I mean for real, you are cute enough to bite and I'm shocked that Michael hasn't jumped on you to get a taste.* Michael held in a chuckle as he paused the game to listen to the girls.

*Wait! The game is paused! The game is paused!*

*Calum what is he doing to you?!?!* Michael had typed something onto his phone and presented it to Calum:

/We should totally mess with them./ Calum looked at Michael with a smirk and mouthed the word, /definitely/.

*Calum, what is going on?!?!* Calum shifted a bit on the bed, causing it to squeak.

*Oh! Oh my god! Is this for real?*

Michael was next with more audible movements, followed by a very believable moan on Calum's behalf. The girls squealed with delight.

*Oh my god they're doing it!* More moans and they began jumping on the bed.

*Holy shit they're erratic! Do you hear that! The headboard is even hitting the wall!* The pair tried their hardest to contain their laughter, only failing miserably and falling onto the bed whilst the girls muttered in confusion.

"You girls are quite gullible, might I say." Calum laughed into the phone.

"And invasive. For the record, we haven't done anything yet."

*You bastards! You got us excited for nothing!*

"You're welcome, now leave me alone so I can watch my husband run over more innocent bystanders."

*Why you gotta be so rude?!?!* Calum hung up the phone as soon as they belched out the badly tuned lyrics.

"Those friends of yours are quite something."

"Yeah... I may need to block them for the night."

~

"How do you find this movie funny?" Michael asked in disbelief as Calum laughed as the witch jumped on Nancy.

"It's not supposed to be funny?" Calum asked in all seriousness with a slight pout on his face.

"This is a horror film." Michael explained. Calum looked at the screen again.

"Really?" For someone as cute and adorable as Calum, Michael was surprised that he found The Conjuring to be funny.

"A cutie who enjoys horror films as comedies... I've found myself a keeper." Calum blushed and cuddled closer into Michael's chest, resuming to the movie.

~ ~ ~

"Babe. Wake up. I wanna take you to breakfast."

"I like sleep." Calum mumbled into the pillow. Michael wasn't having any of it.

"So do I, but I like food more. Come on. Get up. We're going to get food."

"Can we go to my house? I have food there. And a dog."

"Um, aren't you worried your house will be trashed?"

"Nah. Kuma's trained." Michael nodded and handed Calum his pants as he sat up and rubbed his eyes.

"So what time do you have to leave today?"

"At about four. The flight is about an hour and a half, but we need time to recover from jetlag." Calum hopped into his skinny jeans and threw on his converse.

"I see you're already packed."

"Yeah, I figured it'd be smart to put everything in Luke and Ashton's room whilst I was with you, just in case the time got away from us."

"Clever thinking. I think I have everything. My phone, my wallet, my camera, flower crown... yup. You ready to go?" Michael nodded and open the door for Calum, suitcase in hand, and they walked to Luke and Ashton's room to drop off the luggage.


	5. 4: Breakfast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Calum has never had a breakfast like this...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! So I'm sorry I haven't updated in like three days, and I hope you enjoy the update. Also, thank you so much for the 100+ kudos and the comments! I most definitely read them and I love you all for giving me feedback!

"Hi, Kuma!" Calum giggled as the dog ran for his attention. He sat there playing with her for a minute as Michael stepped in before him.

"Nice place you got here." Michael murmured once Calum stood up.

"Thank you. Now, I'm gonna get out of these clothes and shower real quick, just do whatever for a few minutes, yeah?" Michael nodded and sat on Calum's couch, Kuma following to lay her head on his lap.

~

Calum hopped happily down the stairs with a different sweater and no pants on. "You ready to eat?"

"Yeah," Michael hummed as he stood up from his spot on the couch and followed Calum into the kitchen, shamelessly staring at his beautifully hairless legs. "What are we having?"

"How about waffles, eggs, and bacon?" Michael nodded and sat down on one the breakfast bar stools.

"You can cook, princess?"

"I'm pretty much a housewife," Calum chuckled for a second. "But call me that and I'll cut you." Michael's eyes widened at the sudden outburst.

"Wow, princess. Never thought you had an evil side." Calum giggled.

"There's a lot you don't see of me that you would on camera."

"Explain?" Michael questioned as Calum handed him a class of orange juice.

"I can be a bit sassy at times, nurturing. I like a lot of bands that you probably wouldn't expect someone like me to like."

"Yeah? Like what? Kpop?" Calum scoffed, plugging in his waffle iron.

"If that's an Asian joke, you better watch your back. And no," Calum pulled over his sweater to reveal a Fall Out Boy t-shirt. "I also like All Time Low, Panic! At The Disco, Green Day, My Chemical Romance, The Offspring, Foo Fighters, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Nirvana, Good Charlotte, Linkin Park, the 1975, and a bunch of other bands I can't name off the top of my head." Calum stood there with is sweater over his shirt as Michael stared blankly at him for a long while.

"You know," he began, setting down his orange juice. "I've never been more in love with a person than I am with you." Calum laughed and scurried over to Michael's side and sat on his lap. Michael snaked an arm loosely around Calum's waist and Calum threw his arms around Michael's neck.

"Good, 'cause I'm all yours." Right as they both leaned forward, the front door flung open to reveal Luke and Ashton.

"Were we ruining a moment?" Ashton asked, oblivious to previous actions.

"No," Calum cheered the same time Michael murmured a 'yes.' Calum rolled his eyes and gave Michael a well-needed peck on the lips then hopped off his lap before he could watch Michael gasp and touch the lips. "I was just about to make breakfast. You guys want some?"

"Sure, we could eat." Luke said as he sat down between Michael and Ashton on the breakfast bar stool.

"I can't believe he kissed me." Michael breathed quietly out of Calum's earshot.

"Neither can we." Luke whispered back.

~

"These eggs are perfection." Ashton groaned, with food in his mouth. Luke had scolded him to be polite.

"Thanks, I try my best." Calum smirked as he rinsed off his plateware and put it in the empty dishwasher.

"I've only had this food once and I already miss it dearly because I know I won't have it for about six months." Michael moped sadly.

"Don't worry. These six months will just fly by. And then you could see Calum whenever you want." Luke tried patting his back and comforting him.

"Or he could just come on tour with us," Ashton snorted as he downed his last gulp of orange juice. The three boys looked at him like he was the elephant in the room. Which technically, he was at the moment. "What?"

"Tour!" Michael exclaimed. "You could come on tour with us! And bring Kuma, too! And you could do your videos and we wouldn't have to be separated for six months! Will you come with us? Please?!?! If you say yes, just know you'll have to pack immediately because we leave this city in a few hours." The band looked at Calum expectantly, clearly waiting for Calum to say yes. Calum only sat there nervously on his breakfast bar stool and fiddled with the hem of his sweater.

/This is all so sudden./

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the cliffhanger! I'll update really soon! Remember that Kuma is Calum's female dog in this fic and may or may not be in reality!


	6. 5: Early in the Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Calum is such a little tease. ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! So I want to continue with saying thank you! One comment in particular really lightened my bad mood today and I especially want to say thank you to that user! You know who you are!

Calum couldn't really tell you how he wound up in a plane next to Michael. He also couldn't tell you how he managed to have his house cleaned and his thing's packed in only about two hours. Leaving about another two hours to edit and upload his interview.

"Is this great or what? We get to spend so much time together! It's gonna be sick!"

"I can't believe you convinced me to just go on tour with you." Calum smiled fondly.

"It's great, isn't it?" Calum had to agree. After all, he got to be with Michael, and that made everything all worth it.

"I didn't even get to say goodbye to my mum. Yet for some reason, I can't bring in myself to care."

"I'm sure if you told her you fled the city with your new husband, she'd be all for it."

"Probably, but my dog. You've convinced me to bring my dog."

"Well you can't leave her alone in a house for six months. That'll be bad ownership."

"I can't believes I'm going to Gold Coast." Michael laughed.

"Well believe it, baby."

~ ~ ~

"You did awesome! I can't believe I get to see this almost every night for six months!" Calum exclaimed, hugging Michael like is life depended on it.

"You can't believe a lot of things, can't you?"

"Nope!" Calum poked his tongue out.

"Well then you would you like to not believe what is happening in our hotel suite?"

"Works for me!" Calum sing-sang as he followed Michael into the car that drove them.

~

"That was awesome! And everyone backstage was so nice! I loved it all!" Calum huffed, hopping onto the bed they were to be sharing for the night.

"That's great to hear, because you'll be doing it for six months." Michael sat next to Calum and put his hand on his knee.

"This is amazing; going place to place and shit. I can't believe you do this for a living."

"I do. And it's fun, but believe me. There are downsides."

"Like what?"

"I miss my family. I hate having to room with those two for long periods of time. They're annoying sometimes."

"Really? They seem so cool."

"They are when they aren't rubbing their relationship in my face all the time." Michael huffed as he threw himself the rest of the way.

"Well," Calum began soothingly, curling up into Michael's side. "Now you have me. And we can rub our relationship in their faces and see how that feels." Michael laughed and kissed the top of Calum's head.

"Yeah, I guess we could do that."

~ ~ ~

"Good morning, jelly beans! As you could see, I'm not in my house as per usual. And you probably know that I was at last night's concert here in Gold Coast. Well, I've agreed to go on tour with my new boyfriend, Mikey!" Michael lazily shuffled over to Calum and smiled meekly at the camera.

"Hi, everyone." He muttered tiredly.

"That was weak." Calum rolled his eyes fondly.

"I want to take a nap." Michael whined.

"You just woke up."

"Naptime." Michael pouted, much like a three year old. Calum huffed.

"Ok, go take your nap." Calum sighed, finally giving in. Michael smiled broadly and gave Calum a bear hug before instantly getting out of the camera view and plopping onto the bed.

"Thank you, CalPal."

"Yeahyeahyeah, world's greatest boyfriend. Anyway, We're still in Gold coast and we leave tonight after this venue. I've made friends with so many other fishies and random people I meet here. So has Kuma! It's really pretty great being here." Calum whisper-shouted excitedly.

"You know what would be really pretty great? If you were to go bother Luke and Ashton." Michael grumbled. Calum rolled his eyes and picked up his tripod.

"He's not a morning person."

~ ~ ~

"And now I'm in a room with a couple of dudes who are actually nice enough to let me in at the decent hour of eight o'clock."

"Sorry, Cal. You know how Michael is." Ashton apologized from where he was cuddled into Luke.

"But we're always awake by half seven, so just come by whenever." Luke said in a relaxed voice as he curled closer to Ashton.

"Your relationship is so cute, you have no idea." Calum mused.

"Thank you. Your boyfriend doesn't seem to think so. He finds it revolting." Ashton snorted.

"Well he's gonna end up just like us, I promise. Now that he has a boyfriend of his own." Calum sighed happily.

"I love the sound of that! Boyfriend boyfriend boyfriend!" He giggled profusely.

"Speaking of, why did he practically kick you out?"

"He wanted to sleep, so I'm letting him sleep."

"You should've slept with him. He's been in need of a cuddle buddy. There's no way he's cuddling another big spoon and Luke's out of the question."

"So possessive. I love that, it's so cute."

"It's hot as hell in the bed." Luke purred. Calum's eyes averted from where he was looking at the couple, then at the camera with a mixed expression.

"Anyway, before we move onto something we probably wouldn't want young children to hear... tonight, I get to go to another concert with these three and I get to meet more new people and it's all the greatest experience ever! Best of all, they have a chance to meet some of my YouTuber friends and we even get to do collabs together!!!"

"You're way too perky for the morning. Luke and I usually remain mellow and tired. And these challenges you plan on doing with us better not involve any of us getting haircuts or anything."

"No! No! Of course not! But you'll have to be willing to eat large quantities of candy," Ashton and Luke high-fived and proceeded to cuddle. "And, by the looks of it, I'll be able to take them to Vid-Con this August!"

"We get to go to Vid-Con?!?! No way!" Luke exclaimed happily.

"Way! You get to meet all the other YouTubers in the community!"

"Lukey, we're going to Vid-Con!!!"

"And collaborating with the other YouTubers." Calum added.

"We get to collab with all of them? I bet Zoella has some amazing beauty tips for me."

"You're prettier than everyone else, Lukey. She'll need beauty tips from you." Ashton gushed just before the door flung open.

"Aha! I knew you were trying to steal my boo thang!" A disheveled Michael boomed accusingly. Calum giggled at the nickname, up until he was thrown over a shoulder with such ease. He quickly grabbed the tripod and put himself and Michael into view.

"Well it appears I have been lifted, and it looks like we're going back to our room so I'll talk to you guys later!" Calum closed the camera and pliantly allowed Michael to open the door and toss him onto the bed, right after setting the camera down of course.

"You wake up too early. I don't know how you manage to do it." Michael huffed as he threw himself onto Calum, who only laughed and wrapped his bare legs around Michael's waist.

"The early bird gets the worm." He smirked.

"Oh yeah?" Michael tested. "So you're getting the worm now?" He teased. Calum laughed again.

"Yup! Only I can't get to it with you on top of me." Michael smirked and rolled off of Calum, having him roll onto him.

"And now what?"

"Now," Calum leaned forward until he was inches away from Michael's plump red lips, lips he'd only once pecked. "I'm gonna buy some sour gummy worms at the candy store across the street. I'll see you in a bit, babe!" With that, he gave Michael's cherry lips a second peck, hopped off of Michael, and grabbed a pair of jeans from his closet before exitting the room with a broad smirk, leaving Michael horny and dumbfounded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much! You all keep me happy! And also, merlypops! Your CAPS LOCKS enthuses me!!!


	7. 6: Gummy Worms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lashton are no help in the beginning when Calum comes back. Ashton, however, may have given Michael an idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I still love the positive attention this fic is receiving. I'll let you know that this may be long. I haven't even gotten to the main conflict yet. Anyway, there will be smut in the later chapters. ;)

"No way did he do that!" Ashton cackled. Michael groaned and nodded.

"He's been there for half an hour already. I think he found some jelly beans."

"The candy or the fandom?" Luke asked as he entered the kitchenette from the bathroom.

"Yes," Michael huffed, confusing the couple for a few seconds before they finally caught on. "That little tease has entered the wrong game."

"And what do you plan on doing to him?" Ashton questioned with a knowing look.

"I'm pretty sure I can tease him, too."

"Yeah, like that'll work." Luke snorted sarcastically.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means you're gonna crack before Calum does." The pair said in unison. Their mental telepathy; that always managed to freak Michael out.

"Oh, we'll see about that." Michael murmured, ready for the challenge.

~

"Hey! Did you know the candy store across the street has hall of fame for jelly beans?!?! I got all the good flavors!" Calum cheers with a large mason jar of various jelly beans. The boy really loved his jelly beans.

"And how were your worms?" Michael asked pointedly. Luke and Ashton snorted to each other from where they were sitting at the table. Michael attempted to kick them, hitting their chairs instead. At least it shut them up.

"Oh those? Yeah, they're in my pocket," Calum hopped onto the island of the kitchenette and and pulled out the bag of gummy worms, setting the mason jar down. "Do you want one?" Michael shrugged and walked himself between Calum's legs.

"What you pulled earlier this morning," Michael paused and allowed Calum to feed him a sour gummy worm. "That was bullying." Calum smirked.

"It was wasn't it?" Michael raised an eyebrow.

"What exactly are you trying to accomplish here?" Calum looked thoughtfully for a moment then brought himself down to level with Michael's ear.

"The moment you finally crack after being held off for so long. I expect to be fucked so hard for this." He whispered sensuously then looked at Michael, whose eyes and mouth were wide open. He smirked to himself before wiggling his way around Michael and taking his candy with him to their room.

"So," Luke began with a smirk. "Do you think you're losing the challenge?" Michael shook out of his trance.

"I think I've already lost the challenge."

~ ~ ~

It's only been four hours. They've just finished an interview, where Michael had indeed confirmed his relationship with Calum, and they had some time before the next venue. Turns out, the teasing game was still going on.

"Is it too early to fuck the shit out of him?" Michael had asked Ashton as the were playing some videogame.

"That depends," he began absentmindedly. "If you feel you two know each other enough to do that, then go for it. You've obviously wanted to completely ravish the boy since we first came across him one the interweb."

"I hope I'm not being too invasive, but when did you and Luke first have sex?"

"Our first experience was actually part of the reason why we're together? You remember how I was with him when we first started the band. That kid was the cutest thing I've ever laid eyes on. Of course, it was illegal back then because you lads were only fifteen. And I was seventeen. I guess that's why I was so happy when he turned seventeen because that's legal enough for me."

"Um... what?"

"Luke had asked me to fuck him on his seventeenth birthday. I, of course, agreed... the rest is history."

"Was he drunk or something?" Michael asked with a smirk. Ashton punched him in the arm.

"No. He was completely sober. And let me tell you, it was the best decision I've ever made. Look how happy we are. The 'fights' we typically have are about stupid things that won't ever escalate into a break up. I mean, who breaks up over vegemite?" Michael chuckled and looked at Ashton.

"I guess you're right. Besides, Calum knows a lot about me. I mean, he knows a lot about all of us."

"As do we. Therefore, we can all fuck him."

"Touch him in a way deemed inappropriate and I'll chop both of your hands off."

"But how will I finger Luke?" He whined.

"Um, how 'bout you just don't touch my boyfriend?"

"Possessive," he tsked. "You know, Calum really likes that." Michael dropped his controller in realization.

Calum /does/ like that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love you guys! I hope you enjoyed this update! Next one will be Tuesday; Wednesday if I lose the court case. :)


	8. 7: Parks, Pictures, and Popsicles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is all pretty self explanatory.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I got sentenced to ten hours community service because my mom was too lazy to fight fir the ticket. :/ I took the PSATs today, and I'm pretty sure I failed. I got hit in the inner thigh with a softball, so.that hurts. And, I feel like this chapter sucks, but that's for y'all to decide.

Michael knew how he would play the teasing card. He was only keeping a poker face and waiting for the right moment to his hand, anticipating the moment Calum decides to fold, losing the game.

And Michael decides he really should've never made an analogy to a poker game.

But whatever, Michael knew what he was going to do. All he had to do was convince Calum to go out with him, which shouldn't be hard considering Calum was very social.

"Let's go to the park." Michael suggested as he was petting Kuma, in hopes that she'd help Calum influence his answer.

"Awe! That's so cute you want to take Kuma to the park. Ok, let me just get her leash and some dog biscuits." Michael was proud to find that it had worked out as planned.

~

"Babe, slow down! There are plenty of other squirrels here," Calum laughed as Kuma dragged him around the park. It turned out to be really close to the hotel, as were a lot of things. Michael decided he rather liked this city. "You wanna stop at that food truck? I'm starving."

That was another thing Michael loved about Calum; after eating a shit ton of candy, he still manages to be hungry.

"Alright, princess." He smirked as soon as he noticed there were quite a number of people who were staring. He guided them towards the food truck with a protective arm around his waist, and for the record, Calum's blush was totally noticeable.

As they were in line for the truck, a groups of girls between the ages of 16 and 17 walked up to them with their phones out.

"Um, we're really sorry but can we please get a few pictures with you lads?" One of them finally mustered the courage to ask. Calum and Michael exchanged looks before nodding and posing for the pictures.

It went well up until the last three pictures. Michael had kept up is 'nice and friendly guy' facade- as he liked to call it- and he figured now would be a good time to jump into tactics.

He already had his arm around Calum's waist and his head nuzzled into his neck, so what better time to sneak a little kiss?

After the pictures were taken, the girls had complimented them on their relationship. Michael made sure to emphasize his pronouns by elongation and not-so-subtle bum squeezes. Calum was all giggles, but Michael could see right through him.

But was he going to stop? Nah, because what's the fun in that?

~

Calum was so ready to go back to the hotel and practically throw himself at Michael, but he insisted on staying because he wasn't going down that easily. He kind of wants to stab Ashton because he gave him the idea whilst he and Luke were designing new sweaters. So thanks a million, Ashton.

That's what brings us up to here. Calum was currently walking with Kuma to clear his mind from everything Michael has been doing from pinching his bum everytime someone looked their way- which was quite often- to glaring at the guys who indeed checked Calum out.

"Stupid Michael and his stupid bum squeezing and his everything stupid." He muttered bitterly to himself as he kicked the pebbles at his feet. Michael had left to fetch them some ice cream, but Calum wasn't in the mood. He wanted Michael, and he wanted him now.

But he will never give him the satisfaction of winning.

~

"Hey, baby. I got you your rainbow pop." Michael panted once he caught up to Calum. Calum thanked him kindly and took the popsicle.

So this is how Calum was going to get Michael to crack. It was a rainbow pop, notorious for it's size; about ten inches in length. He was surprised Michael hadn't caught on yet.

Calum unwrapped the popsicle and threw away the wrapping. "What did you get?" Calum asked, licking the tip of the popsicle.

Michael had turned to him and froze, staring at the way Calum's tongue moved languidly across the popsicle. Calum smirked to himself and engulfed the entire section in his warm mouth. He then hollowed his cheeks and forced each color section down, pulling in out every once in a while only to bring it back down. Did he mention he was making direct eye contact? Yeah, he figured that was essential.

It appeared to be working, too. Michael totally forgot about answering his questions and was only paying attention to Calum's mouth.

Calum pulled off completely and licked his way up to popsicle then shoved it back into his mouth with a wink. Michael had lost it then.

He grabbed Calum by the arm and with a tone of voice two octaves deeper, he whispered, "You're gonna get it now, princess."

And Calum was more than willing to follow him back to the hotel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, another cliffhanger... you guys are probably gonna read the next update with a straight face... there's some foreshadowing for y'all. ;)


	9. 8: Mood Killers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I may have lied when I said you'd be reading this with a straight face...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry I haven't updated in a while, but school must come first. Anywau, I hope you like this update and tell me what you think. Kudos are much appreciated!

Michael tackled Calum onto the sofa as soon as they entered the room. Kuma ran off to God knows where; possibly out the door that had been left open.

"M-Mikey!" Calum whined high in his throat, eyes blown wide with need.

"You had the fucking nerve to deep throat that damn rainbow pop," Michael spat, pulling Calum's jeans down and removing his shoes at the same time. His socks, on the other hand, managed to stay in place.

"Please, Michael." Calum whimpered up at the other, who was still fully clothed. Michael smirked and rubbed his surprisingly soft hands down Calum's think thighs.

"You know, princess, I'm pretty sure I briefly recall a little challenge we were partaking in?" He said more in a form of a question. Calum's thighs shook and he nodded hastily.

Michael had pulled off Calum's boxer briefs and out a satchet of lube from his pocket and opened it in the process of speaking to Calum. He already had his fingers slicked up by the time he had finished talking.

"Mikey-" he was instantly cut off by his own sharp intake of breath, and Michael's index finger.

He grinned in satisfaction and pulled out the single digit.

"So tell me, darling. Who do you think is winning the challenge now?" Calum only whined and ground onto the finger that was now only centimetres inside.

"Mikey please just fuck me!" The smirk on Michael's face widened and he had finally complied to Calum's needs.

~

"Ashton! Ash, right there!" Luke moaned as Ashton relentlessly pounded him into the mattress. Ashton growled lowly in his throat and tightened his grip on Luke's waist, fucking into him harder than before.

Luke's high pitched moans mingled with Ashton's low grunts. The bed squeaked violently below them. The sound of skin slapping against skin filled the room. The only thing that wasn't as loud as everything else was the faint sound whimpers and clawing.

Ashton froze. He heard it again, though it was more audible. He sat up and looked around the room in confusion.

"What's wrong?" Luke questioned with an adorable pout that Ashton would normally be all over. Instead, he shook his head and continued looking around the room.

"Did you hear that?" The room fell silent until they heard it again.

"Uh, Ashy?" Luke began to feel uneasy as he sat up as well, wrapping the duvet over his torso.

"I-I'll go check it out. Just stay here, yeah?" Luke nodded and Ashton climbed off of him and grabbed his boxers and a robe.

He walked out of the room and inspected the hallway; nothing unusual in there.

He next checked around the lounge/kitchen area. They both looked fairly normal to him.

The clawing was heard again, this time, much more clearly. Ashton looked around the lounge, checking to see if there was anything possibly out of place. The whimpering sounded again and this time, Ashton knew where it was coming from.

He took exaggerated strides towards the main door and opened it, revealing Kuma, who padded her way in whilst dragging her leash behind. Ashton had processed the last five seconds of his life until he heard a shrill scream.

/She must've ran off into our room/ he thought before closing the door and stalking into the room where Luke was clutching his chest.

"You see the dog, too, right?" Ashton chuckled and nodded, running his hand through his unruly sex hair.

"Erm, she was clawing at the door. I'll go return her."

"But you're indecent. I mean, you look like you just fucked the living shit out of someone."

"I did fuck the living shit out of someone. I don't care right now. She kind of killed the mood. I'll be back in five minutes." Ashton grabbed the leash and lead Kuma out of their hotel room, already thinking of ways Calum could show his appreciation for returning his dog.

~

By the time Ashton reached the hotel room, noticing the door was left slightly ajar, he braced himself for what he was about to see; he could only imagine what was causing those incredibly loud moans.

He knocked a few times before calling out for them.

"Um, mates. I have Kuma here. She erm, interrupted Luke and I..." Ashton trailed off and stood awkwardly before rolling his eyes and opening the door.

That's when he realized his mistake.

He gasped and let out a shriek in horror. Michael groaned and turned to face Ashton, still gyrating his hips forcefully into Calum's

"Get the fuck out." He growled lowly. Calum whined, making grabby hands for Michael's jacket collar. As soon as he gripped it, he pulled Michael in for a heated make out session. Ashton covered his eyes and released the leash prior to slamming the door and running back to his hotel room.

~

"So?" Luke questioned as he fixed his hair in the mirror. "How'd it go?" Ashton cringed and shook his head.

"I've seen things that I wish to unsee." He shuffled into the bathroom and locked the door, leaving Luke confused.

Oh well, he'll probably explain after he finishes his shower.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah... I don't know what I was thinking. Better smut in later chapters, I promise.


	10. 9: Good Moods

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Calum always knows how to wake Michael up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyy!!! So long story short; school, homework, projects, and now insomnia. I have been too stessed to cope. Now that it's Friday, I actually got a chance to start writing. So sorry!

"Mate, where's Calum?" Ashton asked, picking up his drumsticks and taking a large gulp from his water bottle.

"In the dressing room, why?"

"He's usually here with us."

"Yeah, well Calum's having a bit of trouble walking," He smirked wickedly and slung his guitar strap around his neck.

"Say no more! I don't need any more details!" Ashton muttered as he stormed off into Luke's direction. Michael smirked to himself and plucked his guitar strings before joining the boys for another exciting concert.

~ 2 Months Later ~

Calum always woke up first. That's just how their relationship worked Calum would wake up, make breakfast, and wake Mikey in time for SpongeBob.

He currently had his new FrankenDoodle jumper on. It was a sand coloured one with [this](http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http%3A%2F%2Fi.ytimg.com%2Fvi%2FBAmuQDnfF5I%2Fhqdefault.jpg&imgrefurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DBAmuQDnfF5I&h=360&w=480&tbnid=TAz4ldWnb0UPeM%3A&zoom=1&docid=P_bMM8puufWBXM&ei=22BMVIuSA4iZyQTktoDQBA&tbm=isch&client=ms-android-metropcs-us&ved=0CFAQMyggMCA&iact=rc&uact=3&page=5&start=28&ndsp=8) picture cropped and incorporated into it. On the back of the jumper was DoodleBob's signature battle cry. It cost him forty bucks, but it was so worth it.

He was also sporting a new matching flower crown in the colours of the flower clouds in SpongeBob SquarePants. He supposed his outfit came together.

That brings him to breakfast. He was making English muffin sandwiches for everyone in the large hotel room. They were in Europe now, and Calum had a ton of arranged collaborations throught the time being. Everything was great in his opinion.

~

"Mikey," Calum whispered, poking Michael's cheek. Michael stirred but remained asleep. "Michael. Time for breakfast." Calum smiled fondly when Michael still wouldn't waken.

This usually happened, considering Michael was a heavy sleeper. Things either went one of three ways. When Calum was often homesick, he'd curl into Michael's side and cuddle him until he woke up. If Calum were in a bad mood, he'd wack Michael with a pillow. Fortunately, this only happened once and was because Michael had accidentally let go of Kuma's leash when he took her out for a walk whilst Calum was sick. It took hours to find her. And when Calum was in a good mood, he'd wake Michael up with a blow job.

He happened to be in a particularly good mood today.

Calum smirked to himself and knelt at the foot of the bed, pulling the duvet off Michael and his sweats below his waist.

It was a miracle for Michael to not wake up to the creaking of the bed frame, but Calum wasn't complaining. He got situated properly between Michael's thighs, slipped two of his fingers passed the waistline of his boxers and pulled.

His size never failed to surprise Calum. Michael was about nine and a half inches long with an impressive girth that always managed to make Calum squirm. It currently sat limp over his lower stomach and was now Calum's peak of interest.

He took the shaft in his hand and gave it a few pumps before licking a stripe from the base to the head, engulfing it into his mouth. Michael's cock had fattened inside the warmth, and Calum slowly began bobbing his head up and down, gradually going lower and lower until he was nosing Michael's pubic hair.

Calum felt a hand remove his flower crown and card it's fingers through his soft hair, causing him to moan around Michael. Michael groaned at the tingling sensation brought to him. The hand in Calum's hair tightened around the strands and pulled his head up. Calum was met by lust-blown green eyes and Michael's signature smirk.

"I see you're in a good mood, princess," Calum attempted to nod his head, only Michael had thrust into his mouth. "Shit! So warm, baby." Calum blushed at the praise he received and allowed Michael to thrust harder into his mouth.

If Calum were to be honest, he'd say he loved when Michael was domineering in bed, or even in general. He was always naturally submissive and willing to do anything for anyone he loved. Michael knew this and took it to his advantage during intimacy. It always worked out for everyone in the long run, especially Calum. He always had a slight Dom/sub kink.

Michael's thrusts quickened and his grip on Calum's hair tightened as he neared his release. "C-Cal," he heavily breathed, tugging the soft strands of hair. "So good for me, princess."

Calum beamed at the praise, hollowed his cheeks, and sucked hard at Michael's throbbing member. He let out an animalistic groan as he spilled his hot cum down Calum's throat.

He swallowed like a good little princess.

"Ready to eat breakfast now?" He asked; hair tousled, voice hoarse, lips red and puffy, cheeks flushed, and eyes watery. It was possibly the prettiest thing Michael had ever seen.

"So pretty for me, baby." Michael whispered to himself. Calum smiled sweetly before taking Michael's hand and pulling him off the bed.

"I hope you're hungry because our breakfast is getting cold." Calum pouted adorably. Michael rolled his eyes lovingly and stuffed himself back into his sweats.

"Getting off always works up my appetite. So does your cooking," he grabbed the flower crown from the end table and placed it carefully on Calum's disheveled hair. "There, for my princess." He smiled and followed Calum to the faint smell of bacon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for only mentioning Luke! He'll be in the next update that will come indefinitely. Thanks for reading and can we please try to get this at least 200 kudos?!?!


	11. 10: Which YouTuber Said That?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> YouTube video with Caspar and KawaiiCalPal ft. Michael Clifford!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So!!! I've been writing a ton throughout these past few days and there's gonna be three more updates (all YouTube videos featuring Calum) before it starts to get angsty. Just thought I'd let you guys know.

"Hello everyone! My name is Caspar and I am joined today with KawaiiCalPal! Kawaii- did I say that correctly?" Calum chuckled to himself and nodded. He was doing collabs with Casper Lee, the Harries twins, Marcus Butler, Dan and Phil, Joe Sugg, Zoella, and Alfie Deyes in the time being of the UK portion of the tour. Really, he only had three days to squeeze them all in. How was Calum going to pull that off? With the help of Michael, of course.

"Hello, everyone. We're also joined with Mikey as well, but he's raiding Caspar's fridge." Caspar gasped and turned to Calum.

"He said he was going to use the bathroom!"

"He lied," Calum deadpanned. Caspar shook his head in intolerance before stalking out of the camera view to give Michael a piece of his mind. "Well, because Caspar is preoccupied at the moment, I may as well explain what we're going to do today. Here we have a bunch of quotes Mikey has picked out and said by many of our YouTuber friends, and we have to try to guess who keyed it. And we're given options so it's not like this is impossible or any-"

"Calum! Tell your boyfriend to step away from my cake!" Calum snorted to himself and laughed in his cuff for about a minute before responding.

"Michael, can you please listen to Caspar so we may proceed with the video?" In just a few short seconds, Michael was in the room and already latched to Calum's side. Oh how he had that effect on Michael.

~

"Ok," Michael began, holding out index cards with the vlogger quotes. He was behind the camera with a dry erase marker in hand. Calum and Caspar had their buzzers ready at their stands and they were anxious to play. "Did I mention the winner gets laid?" Caspar gasped in horror and turned to Calum, who was a giggling mess. Did he mention the vast amount of faith Michael had for him?

"Calum, your boyfriend's gonna cheat on you after this is over." Calum scoffed and turned to Michael.

"Hit me with your best shot, sweetheart."

~

"Quote one: Was it A) ElloSteph, B:)TreMelvin, or C) Connor Franta?" Calum immediately pressed his buzzer before Caspar had a chance to even process it.

"Connor Franta. I remember that video." Michael smiled at Calum and put a tally mark under his name on the board behind him.

"That's not fair! He cheated!"

"No, he just spends a lot of time online."

~

"They could kill a baby in their music video and I'd be like, was it Nick Laws, Tyler Oakley, or Kingsley?" Again; Calum pressed the buzzer.

"Tyler, because we're in the One Direction fandom together!" Caspar grumbled when Michael wrote another tally under his boyfriend's name.

~

"Why do you never have a shirt on? Because it keeps you coming back for more-" Caspar immediately hit the buzzer and shouted his name, followed by the final part of the quote.

"Mate, I only asked for names." Michael laughed as he finally tallied Caspar's slot.

~

"If Tumblr goes down again, I'll not hesitate to kill a bitch.> Was it Troye Sivan, Ryan Minaj, ot Tyler Oakley?" For once neither of the buzzers went off within five seconds.

"Jesus, that's hard! They all like Tumblr!!!" Calum whined. Michael smirked at him, then at Caspar, who seemed deep in thought.

"Was it Tyler Oakley?" Michael shook his head and Caspar's jaw dropped.

"Are you serious?!" Michael nodded.

"Don't forget to download his new EP, TRXYE." Michael laughed hysterically at Caspar's facial expression formed by Calum's diction.

"That, my love, is correct."

~

"Haters gonna hate. Ducks gonna duck quack.> Was it Joe Sugg, PewDiePie, or Kingsley?"

"I don't think Joe said that, but I don't know." Caspar muttered to himself, biting his nails.

"It was PewDiePie, Caspar." Calum said softly. Caspar turned to him with a scowl, then to Michael with the same scowl.

"Did you give him the answers before here? I feel like you gave him the answers.

"No, Calum hasn't once looked at these cards. He just spends a lot of time online." Michael repeated and proceeded with the next question  
~

"Work done? No, I've never had any plastic surgery... I was born like this.> Jenna Marbles, Zoella, or AmazingGrace?"

"That was the video where Jenna Marbles had tape over her nose!" Caspar beamed proudly. Michael nodded and wrote another tally for Caspar.

~

"Kingsley, Matthew Lush, or Phil Lester? " Calum practically died laughing at the quote for a good ten seconds and Caspar didn't even try to answer the question. He had no clue.

"Matt did it because he created the Gay Gun!" Caspar pushed his buzzer off his table out of spite. He was still only had two points whereas Calum had five.

~

"Let's go shit on people!> was it Sam Pepper, ChipDaddy, or Shane Dawson?"

"Sam! I know for a fact it was Sam!" Caspar screamed confidently. Fortunately for him. He was right.

"Oh my goodness gracionious-" Michael had muttered to himself, only Caspar caught it clearly.

"Joey Graceffa!"

"That wasn't even a quote." Caspar's face hardened, before softening into a depressing glare directed to the floor. Calum, on the other hand, was giggled into his hand.

"But can't you count that one?" He asked, imitating a child who very much wanted a puppy, but was repeatedly told no.

Michael stared at him for a few seconds, the glanced at Calum. Calum happened to be discreetly nodding his head, and Michael /Calum/ had decided to give the poor South African his point.

~

"Calum, you have five points, Caspar, you have four. I've got one more quote. This round is slightly different. I will not be giving you any options. And this question is worth two points, so it's still anyone's game." Caspar groaned, Calum stood with a blank expression.

"I feel like this one won't even be a quote from a YouTuber. I'm scared. Where's Emma Lee? I need to tell her I love her," Caspar asked looking frantically looking around the room. Calum was on his phone, blushing and giggling at the screen. "Are you looking up the quote? Commissioner, that is cheating. Have him arrested!" Caspar pointed accusingly at Calum.

"Mate, he hasn't even quoted the YouTuber yet."

"I saw a conversation. Who are you texting, Calum?"

"Someone. Don't worry about it." Caspar turned to face Michael with a look of disapproval. He was on his phone as well.

"You're texting Michael, aren't you? Are you giving him the answers?!"

"No, I swear." Caspar gave him a pointed look. Calum's phone went off and before he could read it, Caspar had taken it from his hand.

"If I weren't losing, I'd probably find this cute." Calum gasped and snatched his phone back.

"It's a Zoella quote, by the way."

"But that's not the final quote," Michael said before Caspar could protest. "This is the quote: Oh my God, I'm gonna tell you a joke so funny that you're gonna laugh your ass off. Oh wait, I see you already know it!" Calum burst into laughter after Michael had keyed the phrase. He definitely knew this one.

"I'm giving up. I've never heard that in my life." Caspar frowned.

"That's because you've never seen the [Twinksta](http://youtu.be/LzRIFEuKFVM) video."

"What the hell is a twinksta?"

"I'm a twinksta!" Calum squealed proudly. "And my booty's not like a pancake." Calum turned to the side and swiveled his bum provocatively.

Needless to say, Michael was relieved to be behind the camera.

"What is twinksta, anyway?" Caspar asked?

"A music video by DaveyWavey. He was the one who told the joke!" Calum laughed whilst clapping his hands.

"And now Calum has seven points. Good job, babe."

"Guess whose getting laid tonight?" Calum exclaimed whilst Caspar's eyes widened.

"You were serious?! Fuck that! No offense, but you aren't my type, Michael."

"None taken, I'm still Calum's type, right Princess?" Calum nodded excitedly and held his arms out for Michael to run into.

"I swear to god, if you two end up on my bed, I will end you." Michael released Calum and stick his tongue out at Caspar, who gasped in false hurt.

"We won't do anything here, I swear."

"But-" Michael began, but Calum cut him off.

"Tonight, remember?" Michael sighed. /Tonight./

"Yeah, ok."

"And," Caspar elongated. "Thank you guys so much for watching. If you like this video, please give it a thumbs up. Don't forget to check out Calum's channel in the link below where he also has this video. I'll see you guys later."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hoe you guys liked it, Happy Halloween, and I hope you guys liked the Twinksta video. P.S. Calum was not really associated with it, but this is fanfiction, so in this story, he totally is.


	12. Makeovers With Zoella (Part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Calum gives Zoella a makeover!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a REAL tutorial!!! But because I don't wear makeup, the directions may be a little weird.

"Hi, darlings! I'm Zoella and this is Calum!"

"Hi, guys!" Calum smiled and did little spirit sprinkles.

"Today, Calum and I will be giving each other makeovers! He's going to make me over right now for this channel and I'll make him over for his channel. We have all sorts of different cosmetics that we will be using for this event. We have our robes and fluffy headbands to avoid getting makeup on our clothes or in our hair. And now we're ready. So let's get started!"

~

"Ok, so I'm actually gonna do a pin-up girl tutorial on Zoey, because I know she'd look flawless in it, as well as she does in everything."

"Awe! Calum, you're too sweet."

"Thanks, love."

~

"First, we start with a clean face, because that's an essential in the pin-up look. We've both already washed our faces so there's no need for that," Calum grabbed the face balm. "Next, we want to apply a gentle face cream or balm to add moisture to your skin. We're currently using 100% Pure Organic Healing Moisturizing Balm and it's only like $25." Calum opened the jar and scooped a small dollop onto his fingers before rubbing them together and applying the balm evenly onto Zoella's face.

~

"You're supposed to use concealer to, well, conceal you blemishes in this step, but as you see here, Zoella is blemish free. Therefore, we're skipping this step."

~

Calum next took the powder foundation in Zoella's skin tone and powder brush. "Now, we're gonna apply a thin layer of powder foundation onto her face. Remember that pin-up girls happen to look effortlessly natural, so don't overdo it with the foundation. Just a light coat is fine." Calum unscrewed the canister and dipped the brush into the foundation, lightly shaking to remove excess and applying it evenly onto her face.

~

"Next, and this is important, is eye primer. Eye primer is the first thing you put on your eyes. Key word - prime."

"And here I thought you understood makeup lingo." Zoella laughed. Calum followed suit.

"I didn't know how else to word it," Calum grabbed the eye primer and unscrewed the cap. "Anyway, this was pretty much made specifically for this look, but if you don't have any, that's ok. You can always apply a fine layer of stick concealer instead. And as I've said before, don't overdo it. It'll create awkward crease lines. But what we're gonna do in apply a bit on the eyelids and gently rub to blend it in with your skin tone." Calum dabbed his middle finger into the small container and diffused it around each lid.

~

"Zoey's eyebrows are the perfect shape, but what we wanna do is fill her brows in with an eyebrow pencil in a shade or two darker than her hair color. Here, I have a medium brown pencil with her name on it." Calum uncapped the eyebrow pencil and carefully shaded in her brows without smudging the rest of her makeup.

~

"It's light taupe time!" Calum cheered, holding an opened eye palette in one hand and the shadow applicator in the other. "Now that the eyebrows are finished, apply it over the entire lid and right below the brows. I know, this kind of contradicts the whole 'no applying one color shadow' rule thing, but believe me, we're not done with the shadow yet." Calum lightly pressed the applicator to the light taupe and began applying the shadow over Zoella's eyelids.

~

"Now, you're gonna take a darker brown and applying it to the crease and out above just to cover the bone like so." Calum smiled as he demonstrated the instruction.

~

"Once we've finished shadowing, it's time to bring out the liquid eyeliner. We're gonna start at the upper inner corner of the eye and delicately work our way onto the outer corner using small strokes." Calum tilted Zoey's head up as he deliberately brushed the liquid eye across the lash lines, then the underside of her eyes. He then.shaped the outer corners to where they were formed into bold triangles.

~

"Here we have an eyelash curler. I like call it the device that traumatized me most as a hormone-crazed, twelve-year-old boy. I've matured since then, obviously."

"Why exactly did you call it that?" Zoella queried, curiosity evident in her voice.

"I once saw my mum using one and I thought she was about to remove her eye. It took a month of counseling to deal with it." Zoella couldn't help but cackle at Calum's anecdote as he began to curl the lashes.

~

"It's finally time for mascara. It's simple really. Just apply it like you normally would, but possibly slower. It prevents too much clumping. There's not much to it." Calum shrugged, tilting Zoella's head up again and applying the mascara as stated.

~

"Now that we have the eyes done, we may now get started on the lips. Get some Vaseline or chapstick and glide it over your lips, as this makes them softer. Next, apply a nice layer of bright red lipstick," Calum pulled out the carmex and spread it evenly across the surface. He next put on the lipstick. "Lip tip number one: use your finger, a napkin, cotton swab. or a craft popsicle stick to remove excess lipstick. This prevents it from getting onto your teeth." Calum had Zoey open her mouth as he stuck a popsicle stick partially into her mouth. He then instructed her to close her mouth around it as he pulled it out of her mouth then disposed of it.

~

"Finally, we are gonna put a light rose blush over her cheeks to give her that full pin-up makeover," Calum took the blush brush and the rose blush into his hands and smeared it onto her cheekbones. "Finished! And we're only doing the makeup tutorial so yeah." Zoella opened her eyes for the first time in what felt like ten minutes and admired herself in the mirror.

"Well done, Calum. I'm rather impressed with your work." She spoke. Calum blushed and thanked her before turning to the camera.

"Be sure to subscribe to this channel, because seriously, Zoella is a doll and it was really fun making her over. Maybe she could find some clothes in her wardrobe to complete the look or something." Zoella laughed.

"And be sure to check out Calum's makeover on his channel. The link is down below in the bio and also make sure you give this video a thumbs up if you liked it. And let's not forget to.thank Calum today, so thank you, Calum!"

"And thank you, lovelies so much for having me. I had a great time making her over. See you guys in a bit where she's gonna do the same for me!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 2 will be up shortly!!! And thank you so much for the 200+ kudos!!!


	13. 12: Makeovers With Zoella (Part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zoella gives Calum a makeover!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey again! This is the part 2 and again, I don't wear makeup so bear with me!!! And anyway, I hope you guys like this chapter, too.

"Ok, so we're back, and I'm still wearing my pin-up girl makeup. Calum's face has been wiped with a facial cloth and his hair has been swept up a bit. And once we've finished, we'll readjust it!"

"I'm gonna be made into a ballerina!" Calum squealed. Zoella nodded excitedly and clutched the powder in her hand.

~

"First, we're going to apply powder. It makes your skin look softer and you must put on enough to where you wouldn't look shiny when sweating. But because Calum won't be participating in a ballet routine. We'll use a little less." Zoella smiled, dabbing the powder pad onto Calum's face and smearing it together.

~

"No matter how many times this boy blushes- a lot- we still have to apply some. Use a bright colour and begin at the base of the cheekbone, then sweep the brush to the hairline like so." Zoey lightly brushed the blush onto Calum's cheekbones as directed.

"You know this feels weird." Calum giggled.

"You'll get used to it." Zoey smirked.

~

"Time to pencil in those eyebrows, CalPal," Zoella smiled, nabbing the black pencil and eyebrow comb. She first began shaping his brows before she stared at his eyebrows for a while. "No, your eyebrows are full enough to skip this step. Let's move on."

~

"Now we're gonna apply eyeshadow. Begin with putting some white onto the eyelid as this will perceive larger eyes. Calum, of course, happens to have massive eyes, so it's up to him if he wants them to look bigger." Calum scoffed at the eye comment before laughing.

"Shadow me. I wanna see how big my eyes can get." Zoey happily spread white eyeshadow onto Calum's eyelids.

"And we also want to had a decent amount of brown powder to give the eyes some dimension." Zoella instructed, lightly brushing brown powder onto Calum's creases.

~

"And now for the eyeliner!" Calum handed Zoella the black eye pencil. "What you want to do is apply a thick stroke on the lashline. If you were to be at a large arena or under harsh lighting- which neither of us are- then, ideally you want to add a half-inch wing. But as said before, we won't be attending a large theatre, so we could go ahead and skip that part of the step."

~

"Your eyelashes are in need of some mascara; a lot of mascara. And because we have a surplus of it here, that can be achieved." Zoella unscrewed the applicator from the tube and tilted Calum's head back to apply numerous amounts of mascara onto each set of lashes.

~

"Lastly, I'm going to work on Cal's lips," she turned to Calum and smiled. "You've got some really nice lips, love."

"Thanks, Zoe." Calum smiled, allowing Zoey to apply a pink lip liner.

"You start with lip liner to prevent the lipstick from running. Because I'm using a shade of pink lipstick on Calum, he needs a pink shade of liner because let's be honest, it really wouldn't look right with any other colour," As Zoella finishes up with the border of Calum's lips. She moves on with lipstick. "Lastly, I'm going to put this on Calum. This shade in particular is called 'innocent', because I feel that describes Calum from first glance," Calum laughed as she said 'at first glance'. She knew him so well. "And I felt he'd look so pretty with it on... and he does!" Zoella cheered and Calum almost turned to the mirror before Zoey stopped him.

"I thought you said lastly." He pouted, and wow. That lipstick and liner really made his lips look fabulous.

"Yes... with the makeup. We still have to fluff your hair, darling," She then ruffled Calum's hair into perfection and put something in his hair that he couldn't necessarily make out. "Aaaannnnndddd, viola! You may now look at your adorable little self." Calum turned to the mirror and gasped.

"Zoe-Zoe, you are a miracle worker," He marveled his hair as well, discovering that Zoella had put a small light pink bow in it. "And I'm totally keeping this bow. It matches my jumper for my next video with Mikey."

"Go for it, love. I've got lots."

~

Calum and Zoella were still in their makeup, only now, they were in their regular clothes; Zoella added a bandana to complete the pin-up girl look. "And that concludes this week's video. Next week, Mikey and I will be participating in the boyfriend tag. Thanks, Zoella for making me over and for having me 'round. Jelly beans, be sure to check out this beautiful lady's channel. She has lots of tutorials and vlogs that you should really check out, if you already haven't. I'll see you lovelies next week in Bristol, or was it Cardiff? Anyway, remember to give this video a thumbs up, and subscribe. Hasta la pasta, jelly beans!!!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next update will be the last chapter before it gets angsty. Sorry, not sorry, but this story can't all be rainbows and smiles. There needs to be conflict. Anyway, please wait for the next update that will be a Malum Boyfriend Tag ft. Lashton!!!


	14. The Boyfriend Tag

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael and Calum do the boyfriend tag and Lashton is somewhat involved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! So, this is the last chapter of super-fluffy-fluffy-fluff for a while. This is also quite long, but I still hope you enjoy. :)

"Hi, jelly beans! Today is a new day and after a ton of videos in London with only three days to do it all, I'm done with collabs with other YouTubers for now and I'm gonna do one with a boyfriend instead! So say hi, Mikey!!!" Michael came into view with the camera on one of Calum's swivel chairs with a gigantic smile on his face.

"Hi, jelly beans! Calum and I are gonna do the boyfriend tag! Because we're boyfriends! Boyfriendsboyfriendsboyfriends!!!" Calum laughed out loud, reminiscing about the time he once said that.

"We have Lukey and Ash behind the camera to ask the questions because I know one of us will drop the computer anyway."

~

"First off, let's just talk about how awesome mine and Michael's sweaters are. They match, they explain our roles in our relationship, and overall, they are just perfection together." Michael and Calum smoothed their jumpers out. Calum's was oversized and read, 'Mikey's Princess'. It was pink and the letters were purple and sparkly, and he had a silver tiara over the P. He also happened to be sporting the bow Zoella had given him.

Michael's was in his size, and black. The script was in electric blue and read, 'CalPal's Prince' with a gold crown over the second P.

~

"Question 1," Luke began. "When did you first meet?"

"Easy," Michael started. "A few months back when he interviewed us for a video. He was wearing that navy blue jumper with little stars on it, and the matching flower crown with the white and dark blue flowers. And I proposed to him with a ring pop. It was a great time."

"You remembered what I was wearing?"

"I remembered a lot of things." Luke and Ashton cooed before moving on to the next question.

~

"What was your first impression of each other?" Ashton muttered in his thick Australian accent.

"Well, I first stumbled upon a picture of him on Tumblr and I thought, 'hey this dude is totally punk rock and effing hot as fuck. I'm gonna marry him someday.' And I did some admiring from afar, realized we had very similar tastes and then I really /really/ wanted to marry him. And look! We're engaged!"

"I actually saw you on an episode of YouTubers React, and I instantly thought you were the cutest thing in the world and that I had to have you. And I think I really like how our lives turned out." Michael smirked, leaning in to give Calum a sweet peck on the lips.

~

"Where was your first date?" Luke giggled. Ashton happened to be kissing his neck.

"It was at that hotel you guys stayed at in the beginning of the tour. I didn't get the name of it, but we just spent time watching movies and playing videogames. It was nice. I told him about myself. He told me about himself. We just got to know each other better."

~

"Do you have any traditions?"

"Yes!!! I awaken around sevenish and I make breakfast. Then, I wake Mikey up and we watch SpongeBob together."

"He forgot to mention how he wakes me up with a-"

"NO! No, we aren't bringing that up!" Calum shook his head frantically, ushering Luke and Ashton to read the next question.

~

"First thing you noticed about each other?"

"Galaxy hair. That was what made me stop at the Tumblr post. His hair was awesome."

"What do you mean 'was'? It's not awesome now?"

"No, baby. It is. But you didn't have red hair back then."

"No, I guess you're right," Michael smiled. "And I think for me it was your flower crown. It was white... and yellow... yeah, those were the colours."

~

"What pisses your boyfriend off?"

"Calum absolutely hates it when he's called 'housewife'. I don't know why, but he gets incredibly stubborn when someone calls him that."

"I do hate it, because I'm not a housewife. I work, I go out for work, I do the cooking and cleaning and all, but that doesn't make me a housewife."

"And I haven't called you a housewife in over a month. Can we move on now?"

"You brought it up-"

"Hey, hey," Ashton cut Calum off. "We still have like a gazillion questions to go through."

"Gazillion is not a real number-"

"Hyperbole, Michael." Luke huffed, rolling his eyes.

"Whatever, let's just get on with the answers. Cal?"

"Mikey hates it when someone tells him he's not punk rock. Because he wants to be known as punk rock."

"I am punk rock."

"Sure you are, sweetie."

~

"Who wears the pants in the relationship?"

"I do. Hands down. Calum doesn't even wear pants 75% of the time."

"It's true. And I think the jumpers make it pretty self explanatory..." Calum trailed off as they both looked down at their matching sweaters.

"Yeah..."

~

"Nicknames for each other-"

"Princess."  
"Daddy."

They said in unison, then ascended into laughter.

"Um, you guys totally stole mine and Lukey's nicknames for each other."

"OH MY GOD! I don't wanna have this conversation." Calum's face reddend and he covered his ears.

~

"You're boo thang -remember that, Mikey?- is watching TV. What would he be watching."

"SpongeBob SquarePants, Supernatural, American Horror Story, the old Teen Titans, Dance Moms, Say Yes to the Dress, Sherlock, Four Weddings, Girl Code... oh so many different things." Calum giggled and nodded into his jumper cuffs.

"And he's really into Doctor Who, Breaking Bad, the Walking Dead, and he likes Sherlock as well. Oh, and we watch SpongeBob together so..."

~

"Favorite feature about each other?" Michael had turned to Calum and stared fondly into his eyes.

"I once tweeted about how I really liked his body and his personality... I said I liked his personality more, but I think I really just love everything about him." Everyone else cooed at Michael before Calum spoke up.

"Mikey has such a big heart. I love his big heart. He's a sweetheart. I love you, sweetheart." Calum sighed, cuddling closer to Michael's side, earning a round of cooeing from everyone else. Michael smiled down at Calum and pressed a kiss to his lips.

"Mmm... I love you too, princess."

~

"What do you argue about the most? Even if we already know since we hear you all the damn time."

"Alright, Luke if you wanna-"

"Mikey, no." Ashton growled, tightening his grip around Luke's waist.

"Anywho, we argue- all the time- over who gets the last vegemite toast."

"And it's not over which one of us wants it," Michael added and allowed Calum to finish.

"It's over letting the other have it."

"There'd always be one left and I'd offer it to Calum, but he'd always reject it and tell me I should have it or vise versa."

"Now after hearing ourselves talk about it out loud, it's a really stupid topic to fight over."

"That's what we keep trying to tell you noobs." Luke huffed. Ashton chuckled and kissed the pout off of Luke's face.

"And in the end, either Luke or Ashton would come in and eat the toast. And Cal and I would just look at whoever it was that ate it."

"And then you start griping at us because 'Ash! That was Calum's piece of toast!' God I swear, just split the fucking toast or something."

~

"Does your boyfriend have any weird obsessions?"

"Well, Mikey and I are pretty obsessed with each other, and we're both pretty weird..." Calum trailed off as Michael nodded along.

~

"Animal that resembles one another?"

"Firetruck!" Calum said, with absolutely no filter or thought. None whatsoever. Everyone, including Calum, burst into a fit of laughter until it died down after a few moments.

"Animal, CalPal. An animal."

"I know, I don't even know why I said it!"

"Mikey does kind of look like a firetruck-"

"It's only cute when Calum says that, Irwin."

"Oh, hush up! Irwie is adorable when he says or does anything!"

"'M not adorable! I'm a manly man."

"You're my manly man." Luke smirked, nipping at Ashton's neck. Michael cringed in disgust.

"Ew, we're trying to do a Malum thing over here! Go do your Lashton shit elsewhere. Thank you." Michael scoffed. Calum giggled and nudged Michael.

"Oh, you know they're cute."

"No. No, they aren't. Ew. Gross. Only we're cute. They're sickening."

"You're so cute when your pouty, but you aren't fooling anyone."

"Cute? Cute?! I'm fucking punk rock!"

"You're cute, now shush. We still need to answer the question."

"Alright, fine. You remind my of a puppy. Like a Kuma puppy, since I've seen pictures of puppy Kuma. You look like her."

"Awe, you think I look like puppy Kuma?"

"Yeah, like a hairless puppy Kuma."

"Ha!" Calum laughed. "Yeah, I guess I do, then."

"And Cal, which animal does Michael look like?"

"And don't say 'firetruck' again."

"I wasn't. I was gonna say a chameleon. Like Pascal from tangled, except his hair changes more frequently." Michael smirked, carding his fingers through his currently red hair.

"I appreciate it, babe."

~

"What would your boyfriend eat everyday if he could?"

"Pizza." Calum answered without hesitation. Michael followed suit with his response.

"Jelly beans. Not you guys, " he rushed, directing it to Calum's fandom. "But the actual candy jelly beans. Calum's not a cannibal. I'm not saying I'm a cannibal, because I'm not one either, but-"

"Mikey, Mikey, sweetie. I think they get it. They get it, baby." Calum giggled, shushing Michael with his index finger.

~

"One talent your boyfriend has."

"Calum is really good on his knees." Michael murmured, smirking devilishly at the camera. Calum's eyes widened comically as he turned to Michael with flushed cheeks.

"You can NOT just say that!" He managed to spit out between his teeth.

"I just did." He continued to smirk.

"Oh, oh lord. I need a moment outside or something. I just. I can't. I cannot. I don't have the ability to even anymore."

^

After Calum had calmed down from his minute outside, he was ready to answer the question.

"And, I'd go with your ability to make me beg." Calum winked, inwardly cheering as the grin from Michael's face disappeared and turned into a look of hunger. He instantly took note of how Michael had bitten his plump, red lip.

"Erm... awkward. Let's go ahead and move on, yeah?" Luke mumbled uneasily.

~

"What kind of music is your boyfriend into."

"You know, we're actually into the same kind of music. I remember the morning I first came to his house back in Sydney, he was wearing a Fall Out Boy t-shirt. Then he listed a bunch of other bands I liked. And it was awesome. I can't believe my luck with him." Calum smiled and kissed Michael's cheek.

~

"Does your boyfriend play any sports"

"Um, unless you consider FIFA a sport, then no." Calum declared. Michael snorted.

"Yeah, m' not very athletic. I work out, but that's about it. And did you guys know- fun fact, if you will- that Calum played a bit of football."

"I did. And I was pretty good. But then I became gay and feminine and not many feminine people run around a field in cleats for a black and white ball. Unless you're Louis Tomlinson, from One Direction. Fine, little minx he is."

"You tell Louis you're already taken." Calum laughed.

"Are you serious? Two bottoms don't make a top, Mikey. Trust me, nothing's going on between us because he already has Harry Styles." (What? I couldn't totally exclude One Direction or even Larry! I'm a Larry shipper, and so are all the gay and many straight YouTubers out there. P.S. the rest of them don't even know what Larry is.)

~

"Boyfriend's favorite sports team?"

"Calum supports the Liverpool football club."

"And Michael supports his own football team in FIFA." Calum joked, though still being truthful.

~

"What can your boyfriend spend hours doing?"

"Cuddling."  
"Sex."

They synchronized. Luke and Ashton laughed from behind the camera.

"Michael and I could literally have sex for hours. It's tiring, and there's a lot taken out of me- if you catch my drift-, and it's actually pretty great, but I know Michael seems to really enjoy it."

"And Calum likes the cuddling in the end so much, he could write essay about it. I mean, I love cuddles, too, but I wouldn't be able to write a movie about it."

~

"And lastly, who is your boyfriend's best friend?"

"Luke."  
"Ashton."

This was the third time they spoke at the same time, and it was still just as comical. Luke's and Ashton's faces lit up at the mention of their names.

"Really?"

"Yeah, I mean. You guys make sweaters together, and talk about twink stuff, and make silly videos, and take selfies together, and have slumber parties. You guys do a lot."

"And Ash, you and Mikey have guy's nights and just go out to pubs or whatever it is you guys do whilst Luke and I have our slumber parties. That's just how it works." Luke and Ashton turned to each other and smiled.

"You guys are awesome."

~ ~ ~

"And that concludes this week's video. Say a big thanks to Michael, Luke, and Ashton for being in the video. If you liked this video, be sure to give it a thumbs up. Don't forget to subscribe. I love you jelly beans! Boys, you wanna help me out with the rest?" Luke, Ashton, Michael, and Calum turned to the camera and smiled with their tongues poking out.

"Hasta la pasta!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prepare for an angsty next chapter. ;)


	15. 14: Misfortune

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael and Calum never saw it coming...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! So, I added a bit if fluff to lift your spirits and a really adorable picture sent by an awesome reader (you know who you are) and it's down below.

[KawaiiCalPal](http://www.polyvore.com/tumblr/thing?context_id=2769580&context_type=user_fav&id=103408743)

~1 Month Later~

Things were great. Really great. Michael didn't understand why it happened. He didn't get why it was even an issue. Everything was perfectly fine that morning.

~3 Hours Ago~

"Mikey, you're wrong! Mr. Krabs is the best character because who doesn't like a cheap ol' crab that has a whale for a daughter?"

"Cal, Patrick is funny, adorable, and totally stupid! Those are like, the perfect ingredients for a great cartoon character!"

"And greedy and penny-pinching isn't? Luke, can you please tell Michael that Mr. Krabs is without a doubt the best character in SpongeBob?"

"Sorry Mikey, but Calum's right. The show wouldn't be the same without Eugene." Luke smirked, plopping himself down on the empty cushion next to Calum.

"Ashton! Our boyfriends are ganging up on me!!! Get over here and fix them!"

"Michael, shut up," he groaned as he entered, pulling Luke from his seat and sitting himself down, then sitting Luke down onto his lap. Luke smirked and pulled Ashton's face to his. Michael groaned and kicked at Luke, which was hard, considering Calum was in between the two.

"Get a room, dumbass."

"Mikey, you're just mad at the fact that I have Luke on my team."

"No, I'm mad that I've lost you to Lucas."

"What are you morons going on about now?" Ashton asked half-heartedly, pulling away from Luke's lips. Luke attempted to whine at the loss of contact, but Ashton shushed him.

"Cake over here thinks Mr. Krabs is a better character than Patrick." The expression on Ashton's face was indifferent.

"Are you fucking shitting me right now?" Luke gasped and covered his mouth.

"Ashy, no swearing!" Ashton rolled his eyes and removed Luke's hand from his mouth.

"Lucas, you're a child. And so are you two. Can't we all just have different opinions and move on?" The room was silent, save for the cartoon playing in the background.

"Who crapped in your cornflakes?" Michael scoffed, finally breaking the ice after a pregnant pause. Ashton arched an eyebrow and deepened his frown.

"If you must know, Michael, Ashton's been pretty backed up." Calum pulled a face of confusion.

"What do you mean?"

"He hasn't gotten off in a week." Calum's eyes widened in realization.

"Oh, I'm sorry. You know what? Mikey and I were gonna go out for a few hours to walk Kuma. Central Park is only a couple of blocks away, so why not right? Anyway, in the meantime, you two could fuck like wild rabbits and hopefully be clothed by the time we return." Ashton gave Calum a look of pure gratitude.

"Thanks, Cal. I'm serious, I just need release." Michael cringed before getting up and pulled Calum off the couch.

"Forget it mate, we're leaving now. Come on, Calum. Get dressed and get your dog, we're going to Central Park."

~Present Time~

"What are we doing here?" Michael asked nervously, holding Calum's hand in his.

"Well, we actually had to fly here from Australia because we've heard about a certain someone who has greatly affected the Internet," One of the representatives from Michael's band, Elizabeth, had declared, pacing around the room until she was directly in front of Calum. "You."

"Me?"

"Yes, you. We thought this whole Malum ship was only a mere rumour. Unfortunately, it's a very much real relationship. After watching a surplus of his videos on YouTube, and viewing his Tumblr, Instagram, and Twitter-"

"You stalked my boyfriend? And what do you mean by 'unfortunately'?" Michael questioned in disbelief.

"Indeed. We had to find out who we were dealing with. And that brings us to why you're here in the first place. Michael, you need to break up with Calum." Both Calum's and Michael's jaws dropped.

"What?! No way!"

"Michael, you and Calum can't date anymore."

"What the hell! Why not? Is it because it's a bad example for two guys to date? Luke and Ashton get to date! Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka are allowed to be married! Elton John and that other guy can be married as well-"

"Mr. Clifford lower your voice! It has nothing to do with homosexuality or anything of those sorts!"

"Then what the fuck is about?!?!" Calum and Kuma shook in fear at Michael's harsh tone. The representative didn't even flinch.

"Calum isn't famous enough for you." Elizabeth stated simply. Michael's jaw clenched and his grip on Calum's hand tightened. Calum cried in pain and clawed at Michael's hand so he'd get the message. Michael immediately released his grip on Calum's hand and kissed it, hoping his love would at least numb the pain.

"Are you fucking kidding me?!"

"Mikey-" Calum began before Michael cut him off.

"No! Cal, don't listen to her. This is bullshit!"

"Mr. Clifford! If you will just hear us out-"

"Calum has over three million subscribers on YouTube and you're telling me he's not famous enough? The boy even has the verified check on Twitter! And over two million Tumblr followers! I don't even have that many Tumblr followers!"

"Mr. Clifford-"

"Stop with that 'Mr. Clifford' bullshit! I hate formalities!"

"Michael," Elizabeth gritted between clenched teeth. She was very well trying to control her temper. "You have over 18 million Twitter followers. And a couple hundred thousand Instagram followers more than Calum. And keep in mind, the band's channel-"

"Is a Vevo channel. Calum's isn't Vevo, but it's his and he works very hard on it. He loves his fans and he's earned the hearts of each and every one of them, including mine. So if you'll excuse me, Calum and I are going to go back to the hotel." Michael turned around and lead Calum out of the room, only to be stopped by Elizabeth.

"If you don't break up with Calum, we'll have no choice but to drop you from our label." That no doubt stopped Michael and Calum in their tracks.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Calum isn't famous enough for you. You're an A-list celebrity. Calum would possibly fit under the D-list if he were lucky-"

"Stop right there. You don't have any right to insult Calum. He's never done anything to you. And where the hell is this shit coming from?" He growled, pushing Calum behind him.

"Calum could easily be using you for your fans. He's been getting more subscribers."

"And I've been getting more fans. So? That's a mere coincidence. Calum would never do such a thing because he's not that kind of person. I know him. I know he has good intentions. Cal is a selfless person who cares so.much about the world and if you're too dense to realize that, that's your problem."

"But wouldn't you rather date a model? Or any actress or actor of your choice? We could make it happen?"

"Calum is a YouTuber, I think that fame will suffice. No, I'd actually still date him even if he wasn't a YouTuber, because I've grown to love him over the years and now we're together."

"But Michael, a model? A beautiful, beautiful model!"

"Calum is far more beautiful than any model I've ever laid eyes on."

"Sure, Calum's adorable, but you're relationship isn't mature enough to be taken seriously-"

"I don't care! It's our relationship! We could do whatever we want with it."

"If that's how you're going to be, then you may as well explain to the boys that we've dropped you from the label."

"I'd like to see you tr-"

"Mikey. May I speak to you for a second?" Calum asked with sad eyes and a quiet voice. Michael turned to Elizabeth and scowled before nodding and following Calum out the door.

"Listen, don't listen to her. She doesn't-"

"I think we should listen to her." Calum said bluntly. Michael gasped in shock.

"Cal, what are you saying?"

"Look, I don't want to break up with you. I love you. But I can't risk you being dropped from your record label."

"Why not?!"

"Because this isn't just about us. It's about the Goldfish, and Luke and Ashton... and you. This is your dream. This is Luke and Ashton's dream. You can't do this to them. You can't stop making music for the fans. They need you. They all need you," Calum was in tears by the time he had finished his explanation. "I don't want to break up, but I know this is for the best."

"But Calum, they can't do this."

"Yes, Mikey. They can. They have contracts with your signature. They could do whatever they want."

"But I don't want to lose you."

"I know... and I don't want to lose you either. You've made me so happy over the past few months, and you and the boys have made me feel so welcomed. But right now, we're gonna have to listen to your reps and go our separate ways."

"But Cal-" Calum sniffled and wrapped his arms around Michael's torso, crying into his chest.

"Mikey, I'm so sorry." He silently wept. Michael's face fell and he nodded slowly, still unbelieving his misfortune.

"I'm sorry, too," Michael frowned, then opened the door to the representatives' room. "Calum and I have talked about this. We've agreed to cooperate with you. And we'll go back to the hotel to help Calum pack, then he'll leave for his flight to Pennsylvania, where he'll be doing another collaboration with another YouTuber." Eliza smiled and nodded.

"Glad you've finally come to your senses. Very well, you may go back to the hotel with Calum and his mutt then pick which model you'd be interested in."

"Firstly, Calum's 'dog' has a name and it's Kuma. Second, no model; no anyone. I'd rather be single for eternity than go out with anyone that isn't Calum." Elizabeth nodded.

"Very well. You may be single if that's what you wish. I'm sorry it had to be this way. Maybe when Calum earns a few million more subscribers or Twitter followers, he'll be worthy."

"I'm not even worthy of Calum yet. And watch it sister, because you still don't have any right to malign him? Or should I say... calumniate? Sorry, I have a word-a-day calendar and his name was in it and it's still a synonym for insult and I'm gonna go back to serious now."

Calum smiled sadly. "I'm gonna miss that mindless babbling of yours." Michael frowned.

"I'm gonna miss you."

"Get out of my office. This is rented for a certain amount of time." Elizabeth rolled her eyes. Michael turned to the woman with a scowl.

"Haven't you done enough?" With that, he lead Calum and Kuma out of the office and trudged back to the hotel to give Luke and Ashton the harrowing news.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is not the end. It's never the end, but this is it for now and I'll update on Saturday. Love you guys!


	16. 15: Best Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael doesn't take the break up thing well...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've received a lot of comments- no, I will not be killing off Elizabeth. Sorry guys- but she'll get her bad karma later on. Ooh, foreshadow. And, I hope you guys like this update. Sorry it's pretty short.

[KawaiiCalPal 2](http://media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/47/bf/7d/47bf7d25e63a4d929e55915e8c263141.jpg)

"I can't believe this is happening." Michael droned as soon as he entered the hotel room. He had been silent through the entire walk and it was really becoming tense.

"I can't either. But remember, this is for you, and Luke, and Ashton, and all of your fans." Michael groaned and kicked the sofa.

"This isn't fair! They can't do this!" Michael spat, yanking his hair angrily. He lost control of his anger and knocked over an expensive lamp. Calum gasped and covered his mouth with his hands.

"You signed a contract. They could do whatever they want." Calum whimpered from behind his sweater cuffs.

"No! They can't force me to date someone! They can't tell us to break up. They can't just go off and degrade you-"

"Everything alright?" Luke and Ashton had come into the lounge room in the middle of the din.

"What's going on?" Luke shuddered, cowering behind Ashton as soon as he took note of the broken lamp next to Michael and the way Calum shook with fear. "Calum, I think we should let the boys talk." Calum nodded obediently and rushed to Luke's side, with Kuma following behind.

"What the hell happened?" Ashton asked angrily once the two were out of earshot.

"Calum and I are breaking up." He huffed, running is hands through his wild hair and down to his face." Ashton moved stealthily towards Michael.

"What happened?" He repeated, quietly this time; upset with the situation he had brought himself upon.

"Calum and I were walking around Central Park, and then I got a call from Elizabeth, you know? The bitch who thinks she knows everything? Well, she flew out here to tell us we couldn't date anymore, because apparently, we need to date people in our caste level. That's why you and Luke are still allowed to date. But I'm forced to break up with him or we'll be dropped from the label." Michael finished his rant with an exasperated sigh.

"Mikey," Ashton groaned, sitting the boy down next him. "I'm sorry. I actually thought it'd be something stupid-"

"This /is/ stupid," Michael interrupted. "What's wrong with me dating a YouTuber?! Nothing, that's what!"

"Mikey, is there anything we could do to keep you two together?" Michael shook his head and stood up.

"Yes... no... I don't know. I just want to go back to watching SpongeBob together."

"I'm so sorry, Michael. Really, I feel horrible about this." Ashton frowned. Michael just shook his head and threw himself onto Ashton, who engulfed him into his comforting embrace.

He heard quiet sniffles and realized this affected Michael more than he could've ever imagine.

Michael never cried.

~

"Cal, I'm so sorry. I wish Ashton and I could do something about it." Luke said, biting his lip nervously as he held Calum.

"I-It's not your fault, Lukey. I just don't get it. Celebrities date non-celebs all the time. Take George Clooney, for example. That lawyer lady is aloud to be with him. A-and Cressida Bonas and Prince Harry. And Kate Middleton before the whole dutchess thing." (I read a lot of Us Weekly. Don't judge me.)

"Hey," Luke whispered, shushing Calum gently. "I know that you're upset about this. I am, too. But I'm sure if Mikey, Ashy, and I looked into it, we could find something. Elizabeth can't censor your relationship. Not now, not ever." Calum looked up at Luke with glistening eyes.

"You really are my best friend." He smiled sadly. They stayed like that for a few more seconds before returning to Calum's packing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And 250+ kudos?!?! You guys are da bomb diggity square!
> 
> I also hope you guys like the adorable picture of Calum sent from both my friend and the same awesome AO3 reader who sent the last one! Aren't they the cutest?!?!


	17. 16: Slumber Parties and Loopholes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Calum leaves New York and has a slumber party with the three hopeless jelly beans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey... so I really don't have an excuse as to why I didn't update yesterday. Maybe it was because it was Monday, maybe it was because of the fact that I'm a procrastinator. And, to top things off, this chapter is really shirt and somewhat forthright.

"We're gonna miss you, and Kuma, too." Ashton sighed as they drove up the airport parking lot. Calum turned to him and smiled sadly. He seemed to be doing that a lot lately.

"I'm gonna miss you guys, too. And between you and me, you were Kuma's favorite." Ashton smiled a dimpled smile then ruffled his hair.

"I kind of figured, since Michael lost her that one time and Luke had accidentally tripped over her." Calum smiled at the memories of both those events. He's going to miss them dearly.

"Tell Luke and Michael I'll miss them, yeah?" Ashton nodded his head and waved Calum and Kuma a goodbye.

~ ~ ~

Calum and Kuma were back in Australia after a long voyage from New York. He had phoned Mandy, the calmest of the bunch, and they agreed to all have a slumber party with him at his house once he and Kuma got settled and were relieved from jetlag.

Which meant Calum had to stock up on ice cream and candy.

He was quick to go home and feed Kuma before leaving the house with out a word spoken.

Then his phone rang.

*So why are you back in Sydney? The tour doesn't end in three months.*

"I'll explain everything when you get here. Now, what kind of ice cream do you girls like?"

~ ~ ~

Calum opened the door to reveal the three girls he met about three months ago.

"Will you please explain to us what happened?" Calum stepped aside and let the girls into his house. They each threw their stuff onto the ground and sat down on the couch.

"So, you know how Michael and I dated?" The three nodded, then Kristen gasped.

"What do you mean by 'dated'? Did you guys break up?!?!" Calum was in tears once he nodded, the Macy stood to embrace him.

"Why? What happened? What did he do to you? I thought you two were perfect for each other!" Calum made a high pitched noise and hugged her tighter.

"I'm not famous enough for him, according to his representatives." He sniffled.

"What do you mean by 'not famous enough'? You're a YouTuber. And who cares?" Mandy scoffed.

"His reps think I'm mooching off of him or his fans or some shit. They don't want us together anymore. They threatened to drop the band if they did." He whined into Macy's shoulder.

"Can they even do that?"

"They have contracts, Macy."

"And do you know what contracts have, Cal?" Calum shook his head, just as Kristen rolled her eyes and smiled.

"Loopholes! We can find a way to get you two back together!"

Initiating the group's first happy-yay-jump.

~ ~ ~

"Ok, so I've found shit. There's nothing here about the integrity of celebrity relationships."

"That's because there may be no such thing." Mandy told Macy as she sat on the sofa with a tub of rocky road.

"Damn, I wish I had a hard copy of their contracts or something." Macy grumbled. Kristen smirked to herself before turning to Calum.

"Uh, may I use your mobile for a second? Mine died and I need to make an important call." She said sheepishly. Calum nodded and handed her his phone. She smiled brightly before running off to the end of the hallway.

~

Kristen tapped on his contacts' list and scrolled the small distance to Ashton's contact. She figured he was the most sensible, seeing as he was the oldest, and rang him up.

*Hey, Calum. I really miss you and all but it's four a.m. here and I'm really tired-*

"It's not Calum. I need a huge favor from you and Calum can't find out about it."

*Not trying to be rude here, but who the hell are you?*

"A friend of Calum's. Now, about that favor. Do you think you can send me a copy of one of your contracts?"

*Why?*

"My mom's friend's brother's girlfriend's neighbour's cousin is a lawyer, and maybe she could look into it and find something to get Michael and Calum back together."

*Wow, you're practically family.* Ashton snorted sarcastically through the phone.

"Pretty much," Kristen murmured. "Now about that contract?"

*Alright, here's what you do. Get this number onto your phone and send me your information so I could mail it to you. Have your uncle's sister's dog's husband's girlfriend look it over because it's clear our lawyers won't help us. And when you guys find something, give me a ring. -Irwie, come back to bed!- In a minute, babe! But yeah, and should I mention this to the others?*

"Ok, one; it's my mom's friend's brother's girlfriend's neighbour's cousin. Two; can Luke keep a secret?"

*Yes.*

"Then keep it between you and Luke. Don't let Michael know until we find loophole. We don't wanna bring his hopes up."

*Got it. Good luck, kid.*

"And remember not to tell Michael, or Calum. We want it to be a total surprise for Calum."

*Alright, and I'll call you back in a few hours, like when it's around nine our time. That's like...*

"Midnight."

*Perfect. Go ahead and send me a text with your name so I could give you the call.*

"Great. And thank you. Thank you so much."

*Hey, don't worry about it. Anything for my best- Ashy, get over here!- In a minute, Lukey! Jesus Christ. Anyway, anything for my best mate.*

"Ok, I'm gonna let you get back to your twink so have fun." She hung up the phone and giddily ran down the hall and back into the lounge room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, as you can see, the angst is coming to an end quite soon, and so is this fic. There are gonna be a couple more chapters of some angst, and a few chapters of fluff... maybe one or two chapters of smut. I'm still debating.


	18. 17: Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kristen tells the girls the rest of the plan after she and Ashton agree on everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi. So this one's pretty short as well, and there is a ton of dialogue... yeah...

"Is everything alright?" Calum asked once Kristen handed him his phone.

"Goober." She smiled, sitting down next to Mandy. Mandy gave her a.knowing smirk and returned to her ice cream.

"Ok, I still found diddly squat, so does anyone else wanna give it a go?" Everyone shrugged and murmured wordlessly.

"You know, this is a slumber party. Let's just worry about it later." Calum smiled softly.

"Awe, Cal. We could find something."

"Yeah, but we're here to have fun. We could get back on it tomorrow."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure, Mace. Let's watch some films." The girls shrugged in agreement and settled into comfortable positions as Calum put in a Jennifer Garner movie.

~

Everyone, save for Kristen, was asleep and it was five minutes until midnight. She was really excited to help her friend out with his now ex boyfriend. She feels she deserves the matron of honor title, next to Luke.

Her phone vibrated and she was quick to run into the bathroom and answer it.

*Ok, so Luke and I were talking last night after you called. And we felt it'd be a good idea if we were to fly you guys out with us when your dog's friend's girlfriend's whatever finds something useful.*

"When are you going to get it right? It's my mom's friend's brother's girlfriend's neighbour's cousin."

*Whatever. Do you wanna fly out here to America or what?*

"Yeah, of course. It's America. Why wouldn't we go? And remember what I said."

*Yes. Michael and Calum will be completely oblivious until further notice. Blah blah. Michael doesn't find out until after we have a winning case. Blah blah. We'll surprise Calum when he's collabing. Blah blah. I get it.*

"Actually, I never said anything about that last part," Kristen began, tapping her foot against the cool tile. "But that's a brilliant idea. I'll have to convince Calum to set up a collaboration when it happens. Oh! And something else! Make sure you keep Michael single."

*That won't be necessary. Michael swore to himself that he won't date anyone unless it's Calum. He's always true to his word. So, do we have this whole thing planned out?*

"Yeah, I think so. I'll let you know how things are doing. Until then, have fun-" she was immediately interrupted by banging on the bathroom door.

"Kris! Hurry up! I can't hold it any longer!"

"Just a sec, Mace! Gotta go, Ash." She hung up her phone and opened the door to let Macy in.

"What took you so long?"

"I have a plan that's going to make Calum the happiest little cutie in the universe. Let me tell you about it after you pee."

~

"It's half-twelve o'clock a.m. in the morning! How could you do this to me?!?!"

"Quiet down! Kris has an idea and you know she has some of the best ideas."

"She also has some of the worst." Mandy grumbled angrily. She was clearly not one you would want to wake whilst asleep.

"But I have a feeling this is a good one!" Macy clapped excitedly.

"Ok, go ahead, man." Mandy sighed, finally giving in to Macy.

"Ok, so you know how I borrowed Cal's phone? Well, I called Ashton and we've agreed to get Michael and Calum back together. I'm gonna have a lawyer friend look at the copy of the contract he's sending me."

"Lawyer friend? You mean your mom's friend's brother's girlfriend's neighbour's cousin?! You're a genius!" The two friends said in unison.

"And we've also agreed to keep it from Michael and Calum. Michael won't find out until we find a way around the contract, and Calum won't find out until we've won and Michael shows up at his doorstep. It's going to be awesome! And the best part, they're flying us out when we find something!"

"Ok! God, this is a great idea. Calum will be thrilled!"

"I know! Just make sure he remains single during the time span. Ok?" Mandy and Macy turned to each other with a smirk. They gave a curt nod before turning to Kristen.

"We'll do everything in our power to.make sure this all goes well."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And the next chapter will be in Ashton's view, but still in third person. Just giving you guys the heads up. Love you!


	19. 18: Manila Folder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lashton smut. Sorrynotsorry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so with the title, the manila folder is only like mentioned twice. This chapter is mostly Lashton smut. Oh well. :\
> 
> P.S.
> 
> I'm so sorry for not updating in a long time! With schoolwork and Thanksgiving and community service and history fair and Christmas money saving all at once, I've had a really hard time getting sleep. Thus, making it hard to write. Anyway, I hope you guys can understand and find it in your hearts to forgive me.
> 
> I also broke my old phone, ironically while trying to fix it. And because I wrote and updated through that, I had to start all over on this new one.

"I'm so excited for this." Luke muttered to Ashton when he stepped out of the bunk compartment, wearing nothing but some tight boxer briefs that really complimented his thighs. He himself was wearing a pair of boxer shorts, but according to his mind, they didn't look anything special on him.

"Yeah," he trailed as he stuck the copy of his, Luke's, and Michael's contracts into a manila folder. "I was thinking we fly them out when they settle the dispute."

"And how will we pull that off?"

"We fly all four of them out to... wherever we are by the time they find a way around this. We're hoping by the time we find something, Calum would be collaborating."

"Why?"

"It'll be public, of course. When his viewers see them all lovey dovey, they'll know. And that's what will make this plan all better." Luke hopped onto the kitchenette counter and looked at Ashton with a mixture of fond, lust, and confusion.

"How did you manage to sort this all out in such a short amount of time?" Ashton set the folder aside and wormed his way between Luke's legs.

"I'm like a superhero, or a magician. Or just a genius." Luke smirked, swinging his legs back and forth, watching the way Ashton stared at his thighs. Ashton really had a thing for Luke's thighs.

"Well, superhero, you have it all figured out?" Ashton nodded mindlessly. "Then where do you see me in your little idea?"

"Simple. Laying naked on my bed and looking pretty." He practically growled. Luke's legs instinctively wrapped around Ashton's waist, tightening when Ashton hoisted him off the counter.

"Ashy, where's Michael?" Luke questioned as Ashton threw him onto the couch. He was already stark naked and tugging Luke's briefs from his everlasting limbs.

"You're killing it, Lukey." Luke giggled and playfully shoved Ashton.

"I don't want him to walk in on us again." Ashton popped open the bottle of lube and squirted some into his palm, slicking himself in a haste.

"He went out for a few hours. You're still loose from last night, yeah?" Luke nodded his head, in both understanding and to answer his question.

"Good. I don't wanna waste any time with you." With that, he pushed through Luke's perineum without much warning. His breath hitched.

"Shit!" Luke swore, throwing his head back against a pillow. Ashton snickered down at the blond.

"Language, baby. You act like we've never done this before." Luke attempted to scoff. It came out in more of a whine when Ashton had slowly pulled out, then thrust back in.

"Shut up. You caught me off guard." He chuckled, bracing his hands around Ashton's muscular biceps.

Ashton rolled his eyes lovingly and pulled almost completely out of Luke, then thrust in, much like earlier, only with more force. Luke groaned animalistically, wrapping his legs tightly around Ashton's waist. Ashton was quick to begin gyrating at a faster pace.

"You're so pretty for me, Lukey. So cute and so fuckable." He growled. Luke ignored him completely and threw his head back in a scream.

"And you're all mine. No one else's; all mine." Luke looked up at Ashton with eyes blown wide with lust.

"Y-yours." he whimpered in a small voice. Ashton smirked and gripped Luke's ass, fucking deeper into him. His fingernails clawed into the smooth skin, much like Luke's doing with his arms.

Ashton shifted, thrusting directly into Luke's prostate. The taller boy arched his back and curled his toes in ecstasy. His eyes rolled into the back of his head, his hands moving into Ashton's untamed waves.

"Come on, Lukey. You think you can cum untouched for me, baby?" Luke groaned as Ashton drove into his sweet spot with impenetrable speed.

"A-Ash! Please!" Luke didn't know what he was begging for. He absolutely loved when Ashton was like this; he acted much like a deprived nymphomaniac, or it's male equivalent; a satyr.

"Please what, Lukey? You want me to fuck that tight little ass of yours until your pretty thighs shake? Jesus Christ, you look so fucking gorgeous for me, sweetheart," he bent down to Luke's level, kissing him hungrily before retreating to his ear. In a deep and lustful voice, he uttered one single word. "Cum."

Luke yanked Ashton's hair and clenched tightly around Ashton's cock, spurting hot cum onto his stomach and some into his hair. Ashton smirked triumphantly, marveling Luke in all his glory and his light sheen of sweat glossing his perfectly sculpted body and his hair that was matted to his forehead and the opaque material painted over his abdomen and his quivering thighs and his everything, really.

As Luke had squeezed around Ashton, the confinement sent him into his release after only two more thrusts. He came in a moan and collapsed atop Luke, panting heavily along with him.

After the two had calmed down from their highs, Ashton pulled out of Luke and carried the boy to the bunks. He laid him down on his own and wrapped the blanket around him, not before cleaning the dried cum from his stomach, of course. He placed a kiss onto Luke's sweaty forehead before going back into the lounge room and throwing on his boxers. He made sure to put Luke's briefs away as well when the door opened, revealing a disheveled Michael.

Ashton eyed Michael up and down before giving him a look.

"What the hell happened to you? Is that a hickey?!?!" He asked referring to the red mark on Michael's neck.

"Yes, Ashton. I met some random person to hook up with after a very bad break up with the love of my life," he sneered sarcastically. Michael would like to say you would be to is you were in his current state. "No, you dipshit! I got attacked by a fucking bird and I guarantee you that that wouldn't have happened if Calum were here!" He complained.

"Lukey's asleep in the other room so don't be so loud. And are you suggesting that the bird would've attacked Calum?"

"No! No! The bird would have flown right to his pointer finger and sung him this pretty little bird song because that's just what birds do around Calum because he's perfection and even those demonic little flying rats notice it!" Ashton looked at Michael like he was insane. Nevertheless, he was relieved to find that it wasn't a hickey on Michael's neck.

Needless to say, he's very apathetic to Michael when it comes to situations like these, granted they happen regularly because Michael had a hard time leaving animals alone.

"What did you do to it?"

"Nothing! That's the thing, Ash. I did absolutely nothing! The world is just being a bitch to me and raining on my parade. It's like the universe wants me to be mis-" he made a move to sit on the couch before Ashton interrupted him.

"Don't sit there!" Michael stood in some sort of a half-squat, stared at Ashton with bewilderment, then at the couch, then at the discarded lube bottle on the floor below his feet. Once he processed the information, he gave Ashton a murderous look.

"You two are sick! I can't believe you guys fucked whilst I was out."

"Sorry mate, but we needed it," Ashton smirked. "But I'm sure someday, you'll be able to do the same with 'the love of your life.'" He smiled sadly. He discreetly looked at the manila folder through the corner of his eye, then back at Michael, who was sitting on the coffee table and staring of into space. He could tell Michael was still taking the breakup really hard. Either that or he was plotting revenge on the 'demonic little flying rat' that assaulted him earlier that day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gah! I feel loke the smut was terrible!!! Could you guys please tell me what you thought? Thanks!
> 
> Also, 302 kudos! You guys are insane!!! I love you!!!


	20. 19: Honeymoon Venue?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ashton's an idiot, according to Michael. But in reality, he's a genius.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ha! A surprise update to make up for lost time! I hope you guys like it, even if it's pretty late in the day. :)

"Hold still!" Ashton scolded as Michael continuously moved away from the alcohol prep pads that were being dabbed onto his skin. Michael cringed.

"I hate the way it stings!"

"They'll get infected if we don't disinfect them." Ashton reasoned, smiling to himself when Michael finally gave in and tilted his neck for him to clean.

"I hate birds. All birds." Michael grumbled just as Luke limped into the lounge.

"Why? What did penguins ever do to you?" Ashton smirked and kissed Luke before returning to Michael's aid. "And what happened?"

"They became your favorite animal, that's what!" He snarled.

"He got mauled by a bird, so he's bitter. Don't worry about it." Ashton reassured when he saw the hurt look on his boyfriend's face. Luke nodded in understanding before limping to the fridge.

"I'm not very fond of you right now, Irwin."

"You're not fond of a lot of things." Luke scoffed.

"I'm fond of Calum. He would've protected me from the bird. Why can't he just be here with me?"

"Because the stupid rep wants to be a bitch. What's wrong with Calum anyway? He's famous. Why does it matter anyway?" Ashton pondered.

"She thinks he only wants me for our fans."

"That's stupid considering he practically got us famous in the first place." Luke snorted, popping open a bottle of water. Michael and Ashton looked at him with wide eyes.

"He did?!?!" Luke nodded after they spoke.

"He went on and on about how awesome we sounded in one of his videos a little over a year ago. That was around the time we became famous, remember?" Luke stated, as if it were obvious.

"Lucas," Michael began with a wide smile on his face. "I think you just gave us some valuable information! Come on, Ash! You're coming with me somewhere!" Michael dragged Ashton off the bus, not before realizing that he was only in boxers, of course.

He actually did drag him out, but quickly pushed him back in to get dressed.

~

"You sure this is the right place?" Ashton asked, staring up at the tall building.

"This is where she told us she'd be stating for the rest of the week." Michael shrugged, walking the steps of the posh hotel that had some fancy name. Ashton followed suit and looked around.

"This place is nice. But do you think she's still here?"

"She's gotta be." Michael bit his lip as he walked up to the front desk. The concierge looked up at him and smiled.

"Hi, welcome to the Waldorf Astoria hotel. How may I help you?" He asked politely.

"Yes, we're looking for our representative, Elizabeth Bennett?" The concierge nodded and typed the name into his computer.

"Room 831. I strongly suggest you hurry if there is an urgency. She's checking out in twenty minutes." Michael thanked the man and dragged Ashton to the elevators as quickly as he could.

~

"What do you mean you can't make it in fifteen minutes? I check out in fifteen minutes! Can you at least be here in twenty? I've got a flight to catch!" A distraught Elizabeth shouted through her cellphone. A knock on the door interrupted her and she had to put the conversation on hold.

She opened the door to reveal none other than, Michael Clifford and Ashton Irwin.

"What do you want?" She snarled. Michael entered the room uninvited with a wide smirk planted on his face. Ashton walked into the room with his camera app opened. He wasn't really focused on the conversation. /This place would be great for a honeymoon./

"Calum. I thought I've made that clear earlier this week. I'll have you know that he was the one who made us famous. He introduced us to his little jelly bean army and they loved us. Why do you think most of his subscribers are our fans, too? Because of Calum!"

"Mate, do you think Luke would like this place? I bet he'd love it," Ashton turned to the menu sitting on the nightstand and flipped trough it, still recording. "There's some nice food choices here, too."

Michael and Elizabeth ignored him and returned to conversing.

"Then why isn't he as popular as you?"

"I don't know. Maybe one of his subscribers' parents work at a record studio and happened to listen to us the same time they did and the contacted us. That is what happened after all." He continued to smirk.

"Listen, there is absolutely no way that little-"

"Is everything alright Aunt Lizzie?" A female voice rang. The girl it belonged to entered the room, wearing ridiculously flashy rich-people clothes.

"Andrea! I'm just having a conversation with your potential suitor. This is Michael." Andrea turned to Michael and gave him the up-down. Michael shifted uncomfortably on his feet.

"What is this?"

"Andrea is a model." She smiled, gesturing her niece.

"And? I strictly said I don't want a model and that I want Calum." He huffed.

"Give Andrea a chance. She's a very sweet girl." Michael laughed deplorably.

"Don't you get it?! I'm gay! When was the last time I've shown any interest in a woman? I'm sorry, Andrea. But you're going to have to find someone else that will date you because now that I realize the real reason I had to break up with Calum, I can get him back."

"He's still not famous enough for you, Michael. It's in the contract." Elizabeth sneered. Michael turned to her with a devious expression.

"And apparently, so is nepotism. The contract is invalid. Good day." With that. He exited the suite with Ashton by his side.

"I got a great video tour of the room. I bet Lukey will love this for our future honeymoon. If I could just figure out how to mute out the voices entirely..."

"Just put the video on silent and- wait, what?!?!" Michael took the phone from Ashton's hand and looked at the screen. Sure enough, the video was playing and he was able to hear every single bit of their conversation. "Mate! Do you know what this means?!?!"

"It means I'm not getting my mobile back." He answered, unimpressed.

"No, you idiot! It means we have proof that could get me and Cal back together!"

"Great. No can I have my phone back?"

"Send me that video. I'm going to look into it!"

"Ok, but I have dibs on using this hotel for mine and Luke's post wedding. You and Calum are going to have to pick somewhere else."

"Forget about the damn honeymoon! I'm gonna get Calum back!"

~

Later that day, Ashton sent the video to Kristen instead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to watch Disney Replay now. Can't miss That's So Raven reruns!


	21. 20: It Was That Easy?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They didn't even need a lawyer, but she was still helpful in the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, another update. I was bored and this is really short and probably stupid. Oh well, but what else is a girl supposed to do? Anyway, next chapter will be much longer.

"Girls! Come here! Ashton sent me the perfect video of a really beautiful hotel suite, but that's not important! We have to show this to my-"

"Mom's friend's brother's girlfriend's neighbour's cousin who's a lawyer." Mandy and Macy droned in unison.

"Yeah! Well, we could show her because this discussion may be our ticket to bringing them back together!"

"Awesome! And Calum's flying to Chicago in a few days to do a collab with Ryan Minaj and Davey Wavey (p.s. they are awesome YouTubers.) Should we tell Ashton?"

"Yes. And I'll go ahead and tell him to tell Michael. This is brilliant. I can't wait to go to America!"

"We'll and call the lawyer, too. She should know."

~

"Ashton! We have a winning case! Where's your next venue?"

*Chicago, why?*

"Calum's doing a video with a few other YouTubers there."

*Perfect. And so I could tell Mikey now?*

"Yes, and wow I can't believe we settled this all so quickly."

*I know. That was really easy. Have that cat's friend's-*

"Nonono. My mom's friend's brother's girlfriend's neighbour's cousin. And the other's phoned her before. See you in America!"

~ ~ ~

"Look at this place! Let's jump on the beds! Let's order room service! Let's go sightseeing!" There was a knock on the door that interrupted Macy.

"Let's answer the door!" Kristen opened the door to reveal the three members of Swallow the Goldfish. She squealed with delight and turned to the other's, who were doing the same thing.

"May we come in?" Luke smiled. The girls all nodded as the boys entered the hotel room.

"S-so! You guys ready to get Malum back together?" Macy asked in a high-pitched voice. Michael smiled.

"Yeah. Where's your mom's friend's brother's girlfriend's neighbour's cousin?"

"Ok, how did you get it right?" Ashton asked in an annoyed tone. Luke giggled and linked his arm around Ashton's.

"They're practically family!"

"Thank you! Anyway, Michael, Anita is actually right behind you." The boys turned around to an averaged size women clad in a professional attire and a bright smile.

"Hello boys. I've looked over the contracts you ladies gave me. And I think we have a winning case. I say we contact your representative and set things straight?"

~

"No, you don't understand," Anita began with a smile laced in fakery. She was currently skyping Elizabeth, who still had the audacity to lie through her teeth. "These contracts directly state they may date whomever they wish. The limitations are very bleek and I assure you, Calum Hood will not be using Michael Clifford for his fame or fortune. He has a stable career and a six-figure annual income. He really doesn't need Michael's money."

"He could very well be a gold digger."

"Oh please! Calum would rather stay home and watch SpongeBob than go out to some fancy restaurant or some shit. He could care less about my money."

"It's still not safe for you to be dating someone like Calum."

"So dating your niece is a better option? As Mikey said before, he's not interested."

"If the contract says Michael Clifford may date whomever he wishes, then there is nothing you can do about it. Good day, Ms. Bennett," Anita instantly signed off before Elizabeth could respond. "Well that pretty much settles that, now go get your boyfriend." She smiled cheekily.

"You can just do that? You can just leave?" Anita nodded.

"You really didn't need me. But I'm here anyway so deal with it." She shrugged. Ashton and Luke murmured to themselves before dropping the subject and turning to the girls.

"Take us to Calum. You know where he lives, right?" Kristen groaned, because no. They didn't know where Ryan lived.

"Maybe you should track Calum's phone. You should find him then." Anita suggested, stuffing her face with popcorn. The entire group exchanged looks and scurried out of the room in search for Calum.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And Happy Thanksgiving! I thankful for the love and support from you guys and my Wattpad readers. What are y'all thankful for?
> 
> Oh, and to the readers who commented about Disney Replay, it's every Wednesday at 11:00 p.m. central time and usually lasts all night. You're welcome! :)


	22. 21: House Warming Gift

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryan Minaj+DaveyWavey+KawaiiCalPal+STG= Oh so many things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And, I'm finally finished with History Fair (btw I did horrible), but whatever, I'm working out and not stressed anymore, thank the Lord. Anyway, sorry for the extremely late update, but I still have a bunch of stupid projects to do for every other class (chemistry, english II, and algebra II,) not to mention softball tryouts. So try not to expect a lot often.

"Look how fabulous we look, Calum. We are the baddest bitches on the block, girl." Ryan said, snapping his fingers in a Z formation. Calum laughed and nodded.

"And we're wearing matching flower crowns!" Him and Ryan both did a pose for their viewers and laughed together.

"So I'm here with KawaiiCalPal, and we're we're matching sweaters, and matching flower crowns, and no pants because it is my house and we don't have to wear pants if we don't want to."

"I love this and all, but I feel like Davey Wavey has been oggling us for a while now."

Davey came into view and scoffed. "You guys act like you aren't even cute. Like I could literally break you twinks in half." Calum gasped, eyes wide with shock. Ryan laughed at his expression then at Davey.

"We're trying to do a video here! Don't corrupt the poor baby!"

"Oh please! He was already split in half by Michael Clifford anyway." Calum let out an inhumane squeak, covering his mouth with his hands. Ryan turned to Davey and threw a pillow at him.

"Don't bring that up to our subscribers!"

"Whatever. They know anyways." Davey sassed before stalking off into the corridor.

"Where the fuck are you going?!" He screamed.

"I had a present for CalPal. I know you're newly single and everything, but there's a such thing as toys, and I thought this would be very useful." Ryan turned to Calum, who remained in the same position as before.

"You might wanna be scared, but I'm here for you, honey. We'll get through this together." Calum nodded, turning back to the camera.

~

"Anyway, we aren't here to be afraid of DaveyWavey's house-warming gift. We're here to do a challenge!"

"A drawing challenge, to be exact."

"Yes! He have our paints right here. And our brushes. And our pads. And or pencils." Calum listed as he pulled each item into view.

"And our challenge from one of you subscribers is to paint a picture of each other in thirty seconds, and whoever is the most accurate wins a super secret prize from our judge, DaveyWavey."

"Why do I feel like the prize is going to be sexual?"

"It's Davey. Of course it's going to be sexual."

~

"Ok, you two. You have thirty seconds. Good luck, and your time starts... now!" Davey clicked the timer and the two boys began drawing onto their pads.

"I just want you guys to know that I absolutely suck at drawing and that Ryan is probably gonna win." Calum said as he threw his pencil across the room and unscrewed a canister of light blue paint, dotting twice for Ryan's eyes.

"Fuck!" Ryan shouted, spilling black paint all over is pad. Calum laughed from his masterpiece and scrawled pink paint in the center of the page, smearing it in one area.

"I hope I'm not like, burnt to you."

"You aren't, I'm just clumsy as fuck."

"And five, four, three, two, one! Brushes down! Show your work."

Calum turned his painting around to reveal a somewhat decent portrait of Ryan. Ryan's painting, on the other hand, was literally a big black blob in the middle of the page.

"Am I that dark to you, Ryan?"

"Were you even trying?" Davey snickered at Ryan's blob painting. Ryan scoffed at both Calum and Davey.

"No! You're lighter I just spilled the damn paint!" Ryan laughed, tossing the painting carelessly aside.

"Well it's obvious, who won." Davey replied snarkily, just as there was a loud banging on the door.

"Who the fuck is that?" Ryan said, suddenly quieter. The knocking sounded again, this time, in a faster pace.

"I'll get it. It's probably nothing." Calum stood up and walked to the door, completely disregarded the fact that he was pantless. As he opened the door, he was tackled and lifted into welcoming arms; arms he missed dearly.

"Calum! I missed you so so much, baby! Your friends have this lawyer friend and long story short we can be together again! Isn't that great?!?!" Calum wrapped his arms around his neck and his legs around his waist, quite impressed that Michael was lifting Calum without the support of a wall or table.

"Michael," Calum breathed, not believing the sight in front of him. "Y-you're-"

"Back? Yeah. I am, and I don't plan on going anywhere anytime soon." Michael stared lovingly into Calum's big brown eyes.

"But what about Elizabeth?"

"She's pissed that I refused to date her niece. I don't care. I'm just happy to see you."

"So we can date again?" Michael nodded in confirmation, craning his neck so he could reach Calum's lips. Calum pulled Michael's face to his and closed the gap between them, kissing him feverishly.

"Awe, that's so sweet. And I'm not even phased that I'm in the presence of a STG member." Ryan cooed.

"Yeah? What about three?" Ryan and Davey turned to the sound of the voice. It just so happened to be Ashton's, and behind him was a teary-eyed Luke.

Ryan squealed, shortly before falling backward onto the floor. Ashton and Luke stared at his unconscious body, then back at Michael and Calum.

"I guess were gonna cut this video short, so uh, Calum? You're prize for winning and your house-warming gift?" Calum and Michael stayed attached to each other, not acknowledging Davey.

After many failed attempts at getting their attention, Davey finally just nudged the boys. Calum pulled away from Michael, cheeks flushed and eyes glossy.

"You get these for winning," he dangled a pair of baby blue furry handcuffs. "And this for a house-warming gift." He smirked lifting a bottle of lube. But not just any bottle; an industrial sized bottle. They're generally as big as Hawaiian Punch gallons.

Calum took the bottle with wide eyes and his mouth agape. "This thing is fucking huge." He stared in awe as Michael smirked.

"Wanna go use your new items, Princess?" Michael asked, turned on by the images of Calum handcuffed to the bed running through his mind.

"This thing is fucking huge." Calum repeated, still staring at the lube in his hands.

"Yeah, and we can't wait to use it, right?"

"This thing is fucking huge."

"And I bet we can use it all by the end of the week. So we should probably get going," Michael turned to Davey and smiled. "I'll be back to get the rest of his stuff. I'm assuming he brought luggage and showed up in pants and shoes?" Davey laughed and nodded.

"Ok, see you later. And have fun." Davey winked before closing the door.

~

"Jesus, Cal. You have no idea how much I missed you."

"Right back atcha, Red," Calum giggles into Michael's neck, as he was still carrying him. He say a mark on Michael's neck that was badly covered by a bandaid. "What happened here?" He asked with a small pang of jealousy.

"He got attacked by a bird in New York." Ashton cackled, butting into the conversation. Oh yeah, Michael and Calum forgot they were there.

"This has nothing to do with you, Irwin." Michael hissed. Calum giggled, kissing the mark.

"You're good, yeah?" He asked as he ran his fingers through Michael's hair, knowing how much he loved that.

"Better than good," Michael purred. "Let's get you and this lube back to the hotel."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! And for the record, the next chapter will be Malum smut!!!


	23. 22: I Missed You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Malum smut, yes!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for not updating in over a week. I've been really swamped with schoolwork and stuff. Anyway, one more week of school and I'm free!!! Btw, this is the second to last chapter. :(((

[Malum](http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http%3A%2F%2Fpbs.twimg.com%2Fmedia%2FBphR2DAIAAAjBGQ.jpg%3Amedium&imgrefurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.veooz.com%2Fphotos%2FsHGGizG.html&h=355&w=489&tbnid=GUfPoZYOrHTtnM%3A&zoom=1&docid=LF1Z0-Uy06xCEM&ei=IOaLVJjyOdb-yQTipIHYCw&tbm=isch&client=ms-android-metropcs-us&ved=0CGYQMyg3MDc&iact=rc&uact=3&page=8&start=49&ndsp=8)

Michael threw Calum onto the queen-sized bed and crawled in between his legs. Calum's eyes lit up as Michael inched is way to his level.

"Hi." He giggled at the older lad. Michael grinned back.

"Hi."

"You wanna go ahead and use this lube now? Because I do." Calum said, smirking. Michael raised an eyebrow.

"Eager now, are we?" Michael laughs, pulling his shirt over his head and tossing it carelessly across the room. Calum bit his lip and spread his legs in submission.

"I just wanna hurry up and get handcuffed to something. Is that so wrong?" Calum asked, sitting up to remove his jumper and t-shirt in one go.

"So fucking gorgeous," Michael breathed in awe at Calum's almost nude form. "I missed your body." He murmured, pushing Calum back and peppering his chest with kisses.

"I missed your body, too. Michael," Calum whined, involuntarily spreading his legs wider. "Please do something. Touch me."

Michael complied, sitting straight and pulling Calum's black boxer briefs off. He then flipped Calum over so his face was tucked into the pillows. He pulled Calum's hips off the bed and into the air, putting a pill underneath them.

"Ready to try these cuffs, baby?" Calum let out a muffled yes and put his wrists together at his back. Michael smirked and opened the handcuffs, closing them around Calum's wrists and setting the key on the bedside table.

He scooched back until he was only inches away from Calum's perky round bum. His hands groped the smooth skin and spread his cheeks to reveal his clenching hole.

"Mikey," Calum moaned, sound pliant and needy; Michael missed that so much. "Please do something."

Michael complied, tentatively licking around the rim. Calum whined and pushed his bum back onto Michael's tongue. Michael pulled away.

"Just so you know, I'm going to fuck you until your thighs shake." Michael grinned wickedly, lightly slapping Calum's bum because why not?

Calum wiggled around so he could look Michael in the eye. "Please, Mikey." He begged.

Michael groaned at the boy, sinking his teeth into the back of Calum's right thigh, creating a beautiful hickey that will soon be multiplied all over his body. Calum whined at the contact and spread his legs unbelievably wider. Another thing Michael missed about him; his flexibility.

Michael's lips trailed between Calum's legs, sucking more love bites into the tan skin. Once he reached Calum's hole, he nibbled at the rim. Calum released a shaky breath and bit down at the pillow beneath him.

That's when Michael finally poked his tongue in. Calum squealed as it swirled around his velvety walls, wiggling and stretching him slightly. Michael moaned around his hole and squeezed his ass cheeks wider to thrust his tongue in deeper.

"Mmm- Michael!" Calum groaned, clenching his fist at the air as his hands were restrained behind his back.

Michael poked his tongue further into Calum's euphoria and the noises the younger boy was making were egging him on. He kind of wished he had waited until after Calum came to put the handcuffs on, but oh well.

"Michael, I-I'm gonna-" the redheaded lad nipped and sucked at his rim more feverishly, working faster for Calum to chase is release.

With the tongue fucking and the delicious friction the pillow gave his cock, Calum came everywhere, clenching around Michael's tongue. Michael pulled away and smiled in satisfaction.

"Good job for me, baby. Think you can cum again?" Calum nodded with some difficulty due to the fact that he was lying face down on the pillows. "Good." He murmured, squirting some lube onto his fingers. He was immensely grateful that the lube Davey Wavey had given them had a pump.

Calum spread his legs for Michael once had pushed his middle finger through knuckle deep, with little difficulty. "Mmm- Mikey." He moaned again, grinding on the finger. Michael practically growled at the sight of his boyfriend, - he missed calling him boyfriend- and added his forefinger. Calum whined at the stretch.

"You think you can fuck yourself on my fingers baby?" He asked, smirking and scissoring his fingers about. Calum nodded his head, still buried in the pillows, and gyrated onto them. Michael pushed the last finger in with the others and began searching for his prostate.

Calum was a whimpering mess. Michael's fingers were rubbing him all the right way in all the right places. His hips grinded sporadically, desperate for them to find that walnut-sized bundle of nerves.

"Right there! Right there, Michael! Again!" Calum screamed moments later, wiggling is hips for more pressure. Michael assented to Calum's pleas and pressed each finger onto the fleshy bump.

Calum clenched around his fingers and squealed, under the attention, writhing in utter pleasure. Michael scooted up and pressed firm kisses on Calum's back, his shoulders, his neck- anywhere he could reach.

The constant thrusting of Michael's fingers directed at that one spot sent Calum into his second climax. The Kiwi boy clamped down onto Michael's fingers and shuddered at the sensitivity.

"So gorgeous, Cal. You're doing so good for me, beautiful. You think you can cum one more time for me? Your thighs aren't quite shaking yet, Princess." Calum nodded into the pillows turning his head to look at Michael with a glossy eyes.

"Wreck me, Daddy." He moaned, making Michael smirk.

"Whatever you want, Princess," he grabbed the key of the handcuffs and unlocked them before flipping Calum over again and tossing the soiled pillow aside. "Thought this'd be more comfortable." He muttered, gathering his arms above his head and locking the handcuffs onto the headboard.

"Make me feel good, Mikey. Own me." He moaned, sensually rolling his hips down. Michael nodded and kicked his skinny jeans off his legs, along with his boxers.

"Until your thighs shake." He whispered, squirting some lube into the palm of his hand and rubbing it over his hardened cock.

He fixed himself to Calum's seemingly spent hole and thrust in, balls flush against Calum's pert ass.

"Fuck!" Calum groaned, arching his back so his abs would line with Michael's. He let out a few laboured breaths in order to calm down from the overwhelming intrusion. He hadn't had Michael's cock -or any, for that matter- in over a week, and he actually forgot how big he was.

Michael moved as soon as Calum gave him the ok, pulling out before forcing himself back in, searching for his prostate again. He grabbed Calum's calves and pulled them up until the both rested on each shoulder.

Calum pulled at the restraints after each of Michael's rough thrusts and whimpered each time he would tighten the grip he now had on his waist.

At one particularly hard thrust angled slightly in another direction, Calum cried out in indulgence. Michael had found it.

Shifting to hit that spot every time, Michael pounded tirelessly into Calum's prostate. The younger boy would squeak and move further into the mattress with each of Michael's powerful thrusts.

"D-daddy, I'm about to-" Calum was cut off by the sharp intake of his own breath as Michael put a hand on his angry red length, jerking him off in time with his thrusts.

"Doing so good for me, babe. Can you cum one more time for Daddy, Princess?" Calum moaned loudly and arched his back from the mattress, clenching around Michael and curling his toes as trickles of cum spurted out of his member.

Michael's thrusts grew spasmodic and shaky and with four weakening thrusts, he came violently into Calum's euphoria. He groaned and gave out on top of the handcuffed boy.

Once their heavy breathing subsided, Michael sat up and pulled out of Calum and grabbed the key from the nightstand, unlocking the furry handcuffs for the second time.

As Calum's arms fell onto the pillows, Michael took the initiative to marvel his beautiful body. His skin was moist with a sheen layer of sweat, his cum painted his stomach nicely, and lastly, his thighs were shaking intensely due to his overstimulation. He just looked so pretty. Not to mention, Michael had just noticed the tear tracks on his cheeks.

"So how are you coping, babe?" Michael asked, wiping the cum off of Calum and laying down next him, pulling him close.

"I'm not gonna be able to walk right for over a week." Calum laughed, lazily kissing his neck.

"Perfect. Then everyone will know you're mine again." Michael smirked. Calum hummed contentedly.

"Yours again." He sighed happily, drifting into sleep along with Michael.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will be an epilogue... and I'm actually really sad this fic is almost over. :((( maybe I should do a sequel???


	24. 23: Couples Challenges and Pizza

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Team Malum vs. Team Lashton... who's the cuter couple?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so I feel like this sucks so bad, but I've been through a lot of stress with history fair and finals and Christmas shopping because let's be honest, it is next to impossible for a 15 year old to find a job.

"Hey, guys! Me and Mikey here! I guess you know that we are back together. I mean, it's been a week and news spreads fast and we've gone out on a lot of dates and all but you know!" Calum squealed happily at the camera. "Anyway, we're reunited, and wearing our matching jumpers, even matching flower crowns! Aren't they pretty?!"

"He's happy that we're finally able to watch SpongeBob together." Michael chuckled. Calum stuck his tongue out at Michael then turned to the camera.

"It's true. I'm so happy to have my firetruck back." Calum smiled as he laced his fingers with Michael's.

"And to commemorate our reunion, we've taken the liberty of asking Luke and Ashton to help us out with a Malum/Lashton couples' competition!" Luke and Ashton came into camera view wearing matching blue bandanas and eye black stick.

"You mean 'Lashton/Malum?' You kind of said it wrong." Ashton grinned smugly, wrapping his arm possessively around Luke's waist and earning a giggle from said boy.

"No, we said it right." Michael and Calum high-fived each other then turned to the camera.

"Also, we have three judges here to judge us!" Calum exclaimed happily.

"Uh, that's what judges do." Luke sassed.

"Well." Calum said, smiling anyway. Macy, Kristen, and Mandy came into view wearing sweaters that said 'JUDGE'

~Derpball~

Michael and Calum now had eye black stick on whereas Ashton and Luke now included matching sweaters. Yeah, Calum's house is full of sweaters- or backyard in this case.

"Here we have this inflatable ball here, and we have goals. Basically, you thrust the ball to your goal. Each goal equals a point. Only may you thrust. 'S pretty simple, really." Luke said, tossing the ball in the air.

"Ash and I would know a thing or two about thrusting." Michael winked at the camera. Luke and Calum's cheeks pinkened and the giggled quietly.

"And whoever gets six points first wins." Macy exclaimed.

"Ok, get into your positions!" Mandy shouted. Michael and Calum got on one side of the yard whilst Luke and Ashton got on the other. At the same time, Michael and Calum exchanged a sweet and meaningful kiss whereas Ashton practically tongued Luke.

"Whoa!" Mandy exclaimed, flustered. "Both teams get five points each for the PDA!" The other girls nodded excitedly.

Michael and Ashton smirked and smacked their teammates' bums.

"We aren't giving you points for that one. You still have to play the game."

"Now wait a second, Kris. I think you're being harsh." Macy said, focused on the deepset blush on Luke and Calum's cheeks.

"We want to see them thrust, don't we?" Macy sighed in defeat.

"Ok then! First team to make a point wins!"

~

Luke began his serve and thrust the ball over to Michael. He thrust back in Ashton's direction, who blocked the goal and wound up thrusting the ball into Calum's rose bush.

"Well, that was cut short." Macy said bluntly.

"It's a tie! Let's move on."

~Queries for Couples~  
(Yes, stolen from Victorious)

"Ok, because Ashton popped our ball-"

"Hey!" Ashton shouted defensively. Luke giggled and patted his shoulder.

"Anyway, we have to move on with our next challenge." Kristen smiled at the camera.

"It's kind of like a game show. We ask the couples some questions, and if they have similar answers, they get a point. So far, each team has the five they started off with. And we have 20 questions to ask you, so try not to get them all wrong."

~

"Ok, folks. Welcome to Queries for Couples. We're your hostesses, Mandy, Macy, and Kristen! We have four categories of questions here and team Malum," Michael and Calum waved at the camera. "And team Lashton." Luke and Ashton waved as well.

"Ok, first topic; your future. Question 1: how many kids do you plan on having?" All of the boys wrote their answers on the dry erase boards given.

"Ok, show your answers." Michael and Calum's dry erase boards had 'a kid army' scrawled onto theirs and Luke and Ashton had '3-4' on theirs.

"Wow, scary accurate. Almost like you've had this discussion... moving on."

~

"Ok, we've covered all questions, and you blokes are still tied. Who wants to call it a day and go get pizza?"

"I do!" Luke and Calum shouted in unison and ran away with linked arms. The three girls followed behind

"What is he doing? This is his show." Ashton scoffed.

"Can they just ditch us? Is this even legal?" The boys were suddenly cut off from their moping by their boyfriends, who pulled them away.

"Come on! Let's get some pizza!" They all shouted.

~ ~ ~

And they ended up eating a lot of pizza. Together. And everything was ok after that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna wright a sequel dedicated to their videos. I got plans for those, so yeah.

**Author's Note:**

> Here's the wattpad link! Please share and vote if you like it! Thank you!
> 
> http://w.tt/Yue2xf


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